Dawn Rising
by evenstar710
Summary: Breaking Dawn told form Edwards point of view. Oh yeah...I don't own twilight, but you already knew that.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one – Engaged

I was lying on the long black leather sofa in my room, Claire De Lune played softly in the background. To those who didn't know any better in would seem as if I was sleeping, but I never slept. As I waited for the sun to set below the horizon my thoughts drifted, and as always, they drifted to my Bella.

I smiled at the thought that she had to drive to town today. I knew her car was almost out of gas and I also knew how much she didn't want to drive that car where anyone who knew her could possibly see her.

The deal was the when her monstrous truck died, I would be allowed to replace it. While shopping for the appropriate car I came across the cherry red Ferrari which now sat covered in the garage that would be her car after she became a vampire. The one that she was driving now was much more equipped to protect her fragile body. The Mercedes Guardian would keep even someone with the worst of luck sage. Someone like my Bella. If a meteor fell out of the sky and landed on the highway it would definitely aim for Bella, and this car would protect her. I hope to God she never found out or I would never hear the end of it.

On the tail end of the thought I remember the morning that the truck wheezed it last wheeze. Bella had gone out to start the truck and …. Nothing. Okay, so maybe the poor truck had a little assistance on my part, but really, the thing was almost as old as me. Well, not really, but I was immortal, trucks aren't made to last forever like vampires are.

I looked over at the calendar on the wall. Before I met Bella time meant very little, it was just something that went on and on and on. In such a short space of the never ending time I had become obsessed with it. With her in my life time seemed to fly by at a supersonic pace. For this past summer it became even more of a factor as eager counted the days till August 13th. Each day was carefully ticked off on the calendar as I waited for the day to arrive. Today was the 10th. Just a few more days and I would take the beautiful Bella Swan as my wife.

Again my thoughts drifted to the night we had told Charlie, and again I smiled. He had taken the whole thing much better than I had thought he would.

******

As soon as we heard the cruiser pull in to the driveway, Bella tried to shove her left had into her pocket to hide the ring. I held on to her delicate had to keep it front and center.

"Stop fidgeting Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to murder here."

"Easy for you to say."

When the keys rattled in the front door I had to bite down on the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing a Bella's expression, she looks absolutely terrified.

"Calm down, Bella," I whispered.

When door slammed against the wall Bella shot almost a foot out of the chair. Again I tried to keep from laughing.

"Hey Charlie," I called.

"No!" Bella said under her breath.

"What?"

"Wait till he hangs his gun up!"

This time I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. I ran my hand through my hair to try to cover it up but I knew she still heard it.

Charlie came around the corner then and I saw Bella eyes go straight to the gun that was still in the holster, and still strapped to his hip.

"Hey kids. What's up?"

"We'd like to talk to you," I said. "We had some good news."

Charlie's expression went from friendly to suspicious so fast I thought he had vampire speed for a second.

"Good news?" Charlie growled and looked directly at Bella.

"Have a seat, Dad," she said.

Charlie move and sat stiffly on the edge of the seat on the recliner.

After a moment of high tension silence Bella said, "Don't get worked up, Dad. Everything's okay."

I grimaced at the word okay. I seemed like such a mundane world for what this was. It was so much better than okay. It was amazing.

"Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"

"I'm not sweating."

Bella cringed into me and sure enough she wiped at her forehead to clear away the perspiration that was there.

All of a sudden Charlie shouted "You're pregnant! You're pregnant aren't you?"

Charlie's eyes suddenly bored straight in to me and I didn't miss the fact that his hand moved slightly toward the gun on his hip. Again I had to fight a laugh at all the good that gun would do him when it came to me.

"No! Of course I'm not!" Bella yelled.

Charlie seemed to believe her and relaxed a bit. "Oh. Sorry."

"Apology accepted." Bella said.

I waited a few moments for Bella to say something. When she looked up at me with nothing short of sheer panic in her deep chocolate eyes, I knew it would be up to me to deliver the news. I smiled at her, straightened my shoulders, looked directly at Charlie, and spoke the best news I thought I would ever speak. At least to me.

"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean you no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking for her hand, I'm asking for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more that anything in the world, more that my own life, and – by some miracle – she loves me that way too. Will you give us your blessing?"

Charlie sat there, still as a statue, for a moment, and then his gazed traveled to the ring on Bella's hand. For a few more moments his skin changed to so many different shades I wondered if I was seeing in Technicolor. When Bella would have gone over to him a told her to give him a minute.

Eventually Charlie seemed to come to life again.

"Guess I'm not that surprised," Charlie grumbled. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough."

"You sure about this?" Charlie asked.

"I'm sure about Edward."

"Getting married, though? What's the rush?"

I saw Bella hesitated at the question, trying to come up with a plausible lie to cover up the whole truth of the matter.

"We're going away to Dartmouth in the fall, Charlie," I reminded him. "I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised." I shrugged at the end trying to appear like the answer was obvious. After all, I _was _how I was raised.

"Knew this was coming," he muttered. Suddenly I heard him come to a revelation. _Let them tell Renee. That ought a be a good one._

"Ha!" Charlie exploded, causing Bella to jump again. "Ha, ha, ha!"

I again found myself trying really had not to laugh.

"Okay, fine," Charlie chocked out. "Get married." He laughed again." But…"

"But what?" Bella demanded, obviously worried.

"But _you_ have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!"

******

I was still smiling at the memory as I thought of Renee's reaction. Of course, after seeing her last spring I knew she already thought we were engaged and was pretty okay with it. To Bella this was a huge shock.

Rousing myself from me thoughts I looked out the glass wall. The moon was rising in the sky and I knew Charlie would be going to sleep soon. I flung myself out the open window and landed lithely on the ground three stories below. Taking in the night around me and ran through the trees towards Forks, towards Bella, towards my destiny.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Long Night

"I miss you already."

"I don't need to leave. I can stay…"

"Mmm."

My breath was a ragged as hers as we kissed. Nothing could compare to the feel of her soft warm lips against mine. Even trough the thick afghan wrapped around her I could feel every soft curve of her body pressed against mine. Though my throat still burned dully, I no longer felt the need to sink my teeth into her vulnerable nick and taste her blood. I had already felt what it was like to lose her and just the thought of feeling that again was more than enough to resist the temptation her scent awoken.

I pulled away to look at her. At the long mahogany hair that fell across the pillow and on to the bed sheets. At her flawless translucent skin and full lips. When she finally opened her eyes to look at me I felt myself falling into their deep chocolate depths. Whenever I looked into those eyes I saw even more beauty than just the physical. As always her bravery, intelligence, and complete selflessness was enough to render me almost incoherent.

She pulled my face to her and kissed me again.

"Definitely staying," I murmured after the kiss was broken off.

"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go."

Even as she said the words she pressed herself tighter to me and latched her hand into my hair. I almost groaned at the thought of leaving her, even for one night. Instead I stroked her face to help burn her image into my mind. Not that it wasn't already there, but I always felt the need to be sure.

"Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."

"True," she said.

She looked at me for a moment as if contemplating something, and then she ran her small hand across my bare chest and stomach. I couldn't help the involuntary shudder that ran through my body at her touch. When she ran the tip of her tongue along my body lip I literally felt my head spin. I decided to pull away even as the rest of me fought to keep feeling her touch.

"Wait," she said. She pulled my body closer to her and then kicked one leg free of the blanket and wrapped it around my waist. That spinning sensation started again. "Practice makes perfect."

Trying to keep control of the rest of my body, I chuckled. "Well we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?"

"But this is the dress rehearsal," she said, "and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing it safe."

I struggled to form a coherent thought in my head. Damn little temptress. If she only knew how much I really wanted to skip over the dress rehearsal and go right to the undressed part. I held my body completely still, afraid that if I moved even a fraction of an inch, I was going to end up doing something I might regret later. The wedding was tomorrow, I could hold out for one more day. At least that was what I was attempting to tell myself. On top of that I was terrified that I would hurt her. I could barely control myself now. How would I control myself when we weren't just skating the line anymore?

"Bella…," I whispered.

"Don't start this again," she said. "A deal's a deal."

"I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I – I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt."

"I'll be fine."

"Bella…"

"Shh!" She kissed me to cut off anymore protests. I kiss her back but kept myself in careful restraint.

"How are your feet?" I asked.

"Toasty warm."  
"Really. No second thoughts? It's not too late to change you mind."

"Are you trying to ditch me?"

I laughed at the absurdity of the statement. "Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

I wondered about the truth of that. Not the part about me but the rest of it. Was she really ready to leave the rest of her life behind?

"Can you?" I asked. "I don't mean the wedding – which I'm positive you will survive despite your qualms – but afterward… what about Renee, what about Charlie?"

She sighed. "I'll miss them."

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike."

"I'll miss my friends, too." She smiled like a little imp at me. "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

At her teasing, a growl escaped before I could censor it.

She laughed for a moment and then looked me dead in the eyes. "Edward, we've been through this and trough this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

"Frozen forever at eighteen."

"Every woman's dream come true."

I knew she was trying to joke, but I needed to make my point.

"Never changing…never moving forward," I said

"What does that mean?"

"Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were…pregnant?"

"And he thought about shooting you. Admit it – for one second, he honestly considered it."

He had but I wasn't about to enlighten her to her father's more violent protective drives. Not that he would actually do it, but the thoughts are occasionally there. I said nothing instead.

"What, Edward?"

"I just wish…well, I wish that he'd been right."

"Gah!"

"More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you too."

"I know what I'm doing."

"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine."

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did – we'll adopt."

I sighed as I tried to find a way to make her understand, but she was a stubborn creature. Even as I knew I wouldn't win, I still tried to make her understand how big a sacrifice she was making.

"It's not right!" I protested. "I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human – "

She put her hand over my mouth. "_You_ are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come get you. Maybe you _need_ a bachelor party."

"I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves."

"Are _your_ feet cold?"

"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. "The wedding ceremony is the only thing I can't wait -"

I cut off as I heard Emmett screaming in my head. _EDWARD!!!! Untangle yourself form Bella and get out here or we're coming in. And I better not see anything that will scare me for the next century!"_

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" I said exasperated.

"What's wrong?"

_EDWAAAARRRRRDDDDD!!!!!!!_

I gritted my teeth in annoyance. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."

Bella hugged me closer for a second and then let me go; obviously realizing she didn't stand a chance against Emmett. "Have fun."

Emmett scraped his nails against the glass causing a screech that cause Bella to shudder.

"If you don't send Edward out, we're coming in to get him!" Emmett was trying to sound menacing but obviously Bella didn't buy it, she laughed at Emmett's good natured threat.

"Go," she said. "_Before _they break my house."

I rolled my eyes, but got off the bed and put my shirt back on before Bella even had a chance to blink. Having to touch her one more time before I left, I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

_EDWARD! Stop making goo goo eyes at Bella and get you pasty butt down here!_

"Get to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down."

"I'll meet you at the altar."

"I'll be the one in white," she said trying to sound blasé and almost succeeding.

I chuckled, "Very convincing."

I crouched on the floor and launched myself right into Emmett, who was hanging on the siding, sending us both crashing to the ground. Emmett let out a curse that I really hoped Bella didn't hear.

Jasper was still hanging on the other side of the window when Bella murmured, "You'd better not make him late."

Jasper peered in the window and said, "Don't worry Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time."

"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growled. I punched him in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Emmett gave me look that promised pay back and I just laughed.

"Relax," Jasper told her. "We Cullen's have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks Jasper."

Jasper then jumped from the window and landed gracefully next to me and Emmett. With in seconds we were racing through the woods back to the mansion we called home.

Once we go there we all loaded in to the jeep, along with Carlisle, and headed to the Canadian border. There was a reserve just past the border with an overpopulation of predators. I know I would need to drink as much blood as I could possible fit into my body if I had any hope of making love to Bella without hurting her. My gut clenched in fear at the thought of possibly hurting her even will the rest me was humming with anticipation.

The ride to the reserve was amazingly silent and I new Emmett was plotting his revenge. I didn't have to wait long. While I was feeding on a mountain lion and sufficiently distracted, Emmett made a split second decision and knocked a relatively large pine tree over on top of me and my prey. After I freed myself from under the tree, I had to give him credit for it.

"Alright, you got me. Point for you."

Emmett just roared with laughter. It his mind I could see how he would gloat about catching the mind reader off guard for months to come.

As the sun began to rise we all climbed back into the jeep and made are way make to Forks. To the great annoyance of Emmett, I couldn't help bouncing in my seat the whole way back. But underneath his ire, Emmett was ecstatic that Bella was becoming part of the family. Carlisle was just happy that I had finally found someone to share my existence with, and the fact that he too adored Bella just made the fact all the sweeter. Jasper couldn't help radiating joy through the van, between his own and everyone else that he was absorbing it was coming off of him in waves.

Today was going to be the best day of my life. Today I would make Isabella Marie Swan my wife.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Big Day

It was just after noon when we got back to the mansion.

"Apparently Alice has been busy," Carlisle said as we pulled into the long driveway up to the house.

Sure enough the trees lining the three miles of road were twinkling with the same lights that were used for the graduation party, plus white satin ribbons were added. I could only imagine what the inside of the house would look like.

Once we got in the house all four of us had to stop for a moment to take it in. The whole first floor was covered in white satin, white gossamer ribbons, and flowers. I took in the intoxicating scent of orange blossoms, lilac, freesia, roses, and Bella's own personal scent. I heard Alice tell Rosalie to keep me out of her bathroom. There was no way she was letting me see Bella till the moment she walked down the isle. If my heart could beat it would have tripled its pace in anticipation of that moment. I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve having to wait till morning to open his presents.

"Boys," Esme called, "can who help finish setting up outside."

Jasper, Emmett, and I immediately headed out to the back yard.

"What do you need us to do, Mom?" I asked.

"We need to get this tent set up over there between the cedars and finish hanging the flowers," she said. "And then you can go get ready. Me and Carlisle can finish setting up the tables and chairs."

It didn't take to long for us to get everything finished and then I headed up to my room to change. I went in through my window so Alice wouldn't think I was spying when I passed by her room. She was definitely one person no one wanted to cross today.

I took my time getting dressed at a human pace. I wanted every part of this day to last forever. As I went to put on my bow tie, Carlisle came into the room in his tux.

"I think it's customary for me to do that part," he said.

I smiled at Carlisle and handed him the bow tie. As he was tying it on he spoke.

"I've never been more proud of you than I am today."

"Dad…"

"I know you think on some level that you are taking part of her life away from her, but when I see how she looks at you, I know that this is the best path for her as well."

"How can you think that being a vampire is the best path?"

Carlisle took a deep breath, straightened my tie, and looked right into my eyes. "I know you have your doubts about us having a soul, but I don't. You and Bella are soul mates. I feel it with every fiber of my being. You both have beautiful souls that complement each others completely. I couldn't have asked for a better woman for you to spend eternity with and I am proud that you realize it."

If I could have cried, I think I would have. Instead, I embraced the man I call my father, which was not something I did very often.

"I love you, Dad, and thank you for everything. For believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. I even thank you for saving me that day, otherwise I wouldn't be here today and I wouldn't be making Bella my wife."

"I love you too, Edward. I couldn't have had a better son even if he were my own flesh and blood."

Carlisle placed his hands on my shoulders and put me at arms length. "It's time to go down. Are you ready?"

"I've been ready for this for almost a century. Let's go."

We descended the stairs and took are places beside the priest. I could barely hold still as I waited for Bella to make her entrance.

I barely saw Alice dance her way down the stairs, my eyes were fixed to at the top waiting for her. As Wagner's march began I saw here there and for a second I thought I felt my dead heart beat. She wasn't looking at me but at the stairs. The way she clutched Charlie's arm, I knew she was afraid of falling down the stairs. Knowing her, it was highly possible, but I never looked away from her.

At that moment I suddenly realized that Carlisle was right. Watching her descend the stairs I knew that if didn't have a soul, then there was know way that God would have sent me the most perfect of his angels. To me, that was exactly what she was, and now she looked like it in her flowing white gown coming down the stairs. My own angel coming to me from heaven.

When her feet finally touched the floor she looked around for a moment before her eyes met mine. I couldn't help the huge smile that broke out across my face at her beautiful blushing face, and I didn't try to.

I could tell she was ready to run down the aisle and it was a struggle for her to deep time with the rhythm of the march. I almost wished Charlie would have let her. Finally she was there and Charlie placed her warm hand and into my cold one. I couldn't have been happier if – well, I couldn't even come up with a comparison for what I felt.

When it was time to say the binding words, Bella's tears of joy made her words come out as a choked whisper but I never heard anything more beautiful than her saying "I do."

When it was my turn to speak, I spoke clear as a bell so that there would be no questions of how much I wanted this moment.

"I do."

Once we declared man and wife I felt like shouting to the world that she was mine. Instead, I gently cradled her faced and kissed her. In typical Bella fashion, she through her arms around me and threw her whole self into the kiss. When I heard the shifting and throat clearing of the crowd I gently broke the kiss off. I smirked at her exuberance, but I was as joyful as she was.

As the crowd applauded and came up to hug us I kept a firm grip on Bella's hand. Isabella Swan was now Bella Cullen. My angel was now my wife. I _was_ in heaven.

_**As long as I know someone is reading and enjoying this, I will continue to write it. However, I only received one review and I would greatly appreciate knowing what people think. So please, review. Thank you.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Before I start the next chapter, I want to thank everyone for the reviews. I know a few were afraid of offending me with the criticism, but it was all constructive and commented with good taste. This is the first thing I have written in years and it may take quite a few chapters to work out all the kinks so to speak. On that note, I will try to add more details and double check for typos (guess I can't completely rely on spell check, huh?). Anyway, thank you for the reviews and help. So on we go…**_

Chapter 4

As typical of any event Alice planned, the wedding went into the reception at exactly the right time. The sun had been shining this evening and I was sure it would have been quite a shock to the humans in attendance if half the guest and the groom started to sparkly like proverbial disco balls. I had to hold back a chuckle at the thought.

Up until a few minutes ago the idea of people seeing us that way would have caused me dread, but now, I don't think anything could cause me to have any negative reaction. I was tempted to jump up and down and act as carefree as the 17 year old boy/man I appeared to be. Thankfully, my 100+ years had taught me restraint. I'm sure people would think me insane if I were to do that.

As I led Bella to the glittering back yard, I couldn't help but notice the mixed feelings of the crowd. From most the humans I was hearing curiosity at the prospect of two teenagers (and I use that term loosely) getting married right out of high school. Just as Bella had predicted, many wondered if she was actually pregnant.

From most of my family and Seth, I could hear they're absolute joy that was outdone only by my own. They were so happy that I had finally found someone to spend my eternity with. The fact that they all loved Bella only added to that fact, but even if they didn't they still would have been happy about my lot.

From Rosalie and Charlie, there was a quiet acceptance. Neither of them were to sure if the agreed to me and Bella being wed, but at the same time they were happy to see us happy. I knew Rosalie would relax once Bella was made immortal and in time she may even begin to love her as much as the rest of the family. As far as Charlie went – well that wasn't something I wished to dwell on today.

They only truly negative thoughts were coming from Sue Clearwater and Billy Black. The thought of a human married to a vampire was enough to make them cringe. Even more so for Billy since Charlie was his best friend and this wedding was the reason Jacob was now among the missing. However they did mirror my concerns about what Bella's conversion would mean to the treaty. The alliance we had recently had threw the treaty into murky waters and no one was sure what was going to happen. That was another thought I put in the back of my mind. I would have nothing cast shadows of my mood on this day.

Bella I stood as our friends, family, and occasional reluctant pseudo-enemies came to give us their blessings.

"Congrats, guys," Seth said. In his mind thoughts were flying at a speed even I had trouble keeping up with. _I wonder if this means we can get rid of the treaty and all just be friends. I am so happy for them. Edward's an awesome friend. I don't care if the Cullens are vampires. Good people all of them. Bella looks really pretty. I think mom is pissed. I wonder wear Jake is. I'm hungry._ Seth was a good kid.

Sue walked behind her son. She quietly congratulated Bella and more or less ignored me. I guess someone told her about my ability to read minds because she kept singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in her head.

Billy was on the other side of Seth. As Bella bent over his chair to hug him, I found myself surprised by his thoughts. _He may be a filthy bloodsucker, but I can't argue with how happy Bella looks. Bella is like another daughter to me and if this is this vampire is what she truly wants, who am I to argue?_ I was even more shocked when he reached up to shake my hand. At that moment I felt almost as much respect for the man as I did for Carlisle. It took a lot for him to come here, especially with Jacob's disappearance.

When Seth hugged me Sue's little rendition in her head slipped and she couldn't help her thoughts of disgust. I wondered if she would make Seth take a bath in bleach when they got home.

"It's good to see things work out for you, man," Seth said. "I'm happy for you." On the tail end of that his thoughts drifted back towards the food.

"Thank you, Seth. That means a lot to me," I said. And it did. I turned to Billy and Sue. "Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome," Billy said. I was so shocked by his general sincerity I almost fell over backwards.

I said no more to them. Seth apparently thought he was about to starve to death. After a moments hesitation the three of them headed to the table with the food.

Angela and Ben were next. As they hugged and congratulated us I took the opportunity to listen to their thoughts. Angela as always only had kindness in her mind. _I'm so happy for them. I don't care what care what everyone is saying about Bella probably being pregnant. Even if she is it is so obviously that they are in love with each other. Mike and Jessica are just jealous. _As usual her mind was a nice place to be and I skipped over to Ben. His thoughts were in line with Angela's except for one thing. He had additional plans for later tonight and the ring in his pocket would hopefully be on Angela's finger by morning. He was also very nervous. I would have to remember to ask Jasper to send some waves of calm and courage in his direction. I wanted this for mine and Bella's friends and I didn't want him to panic and not ask her. I was fairly positive Angela would say yes.

As the couple walked off, Mike and Jessica came up. I quickly started doing math in my head in an attempt to keep their overly loud and obnoxious thoughts out of my head.

After they left I relaxed a little bit, only to have Tanya catch me unaware and hug me a bit too enthusiastically.

"Ah, Edward," she said. "I've missed you." _This is just too bad. I really wanted at least one night with him, or maybe a long weekend. Oh well. At least he seems happy._

I subtly maneuvered away and put her at arms length. Even if her thoughts were out of line, she was still family and it that sense I loved her. I didn't want to offend her.

"It's been to long, Tanya," I said. "You look well."

"So do you."

To remind her of the reason she was here, and just to gloat in general, I pulled Bella closer to my side. "Let me introduce you to my wife. Tanya, this is my Bella."

"Welcome to the family Bella." _She's alright I guess. Kind of pretty but still a little plain. Well, she'll be prettier once she's a vampire. Regardless of how I feel she is part of the family now. Oh crap, I hope Edward wasn't listening. _I made a point now to react as Tanya continued. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I _am_ sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?"

Just as I knew she would, Bella didn't even hesitate. "Of course. It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullens are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?"

"Keep the dream alive," Kate said. Rolling her eyes she thought, _I'm not counting on a damn thing. I just ain't that lucky._ She turned to Bella and said, "Welcome, Bella."

Carmen stepped up to Kate and placed her hand on hers. "I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar." She indicated to her mate with a wave of her small hand. "We're all so very pleased to finally meet you." _She's so cute, Edward._ _I am very happy for both of you._

"M-me, too," Bella stuttered.

Tanya spoke again after glancing at the line of wide eyed people behind her. "We'll get to know each other later. We'll have eons of time for that!" Laughing, she and the rest of her family moved on, probably to go find Carlisle.

As the reception moved along, I couldn't help cringing at some of the human traditions Alice insisted on keeping. At the top of my cringe list was the wedding cake. When Bella tried to shove it in my face, I managed to swallow it instead. As funny as Bella's face was when I pulled that off, I dreaded the fact that soon I would have to excuse myself to go heave it back up. I was not looking forward to that one.

On the flip side was the garter belt. Even though Bella managed to wriggle it down well south of wear it was suppose to me, I still got the pleasure of removing with my teeth. Bella held absolutely still while a carefully removed it so as not accidently cut her with my razor sharp, venom coated teeth. It got even better when I shot it right into Mike Newton's face. I think the look on his face will cause me chuckles for the next century or five.

Finally the music started and I was able to hold my beautiful wife in my arms. I carefully led Bella so she wouldn't get embarrassed when she inevitable tripped over her feet, my feet, or absolutely nothing at all.

Leaning in close, I breathed in her and intoxicating sent.

"Enjoying the party, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered to her. The rightness of those words washed over me, giving me a sense of profound joy.

Apparently she felt it too. Laughing slightly she said, "That will take a while to get used to."

"We have a while."

I kissed her while we danced just because I could and cameras started to go off.

When the music changed, Charlie cut into dance with his daughter. As I danced with Esme, I laughed silently at the stiff little side to side motion they were making.

The dancing continued and I watched Bella dance with just about everyone. Amazingly, she managed to stay of her feet the entire time. I was proud of her. When Mike Newton stepped into take his turn, I stepped to the side to shamelessly poke around his mind. Even though Bella stiffened slightly, as long as he behaved himself I would let him have his dance. It didn't take long for Mike to start imaging Bella minus the wedding dress. I quickly cut in and reclaimed my wife from the perverted little thorn in my side.

"Still not the found of Mike, eh?" she commented. I guess it was a little obvious when I cut in only 23 seconds after he started dancing with her.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse." I ignored the blood lust that flashed through me and just looked my angle. As long as I was looking at her, I could control the more violent tendencies inherent to my species.

"Yeah, right."

"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?" I was surprised Alice hadn't dragged Bella in front of every available reflective surface.

"Um. No, I guess not. Why?"

"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heart-breakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts around a married woman. I am disappointed the Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror."

"You are very biased, you know."

I sighed at her absurdity but instead of debating with her I just spun her around to face the wall of glass on the house. The light was right to reflect the entire wedding reception back to us like a mirror.

"Biased, am I?"

I watched as Bella's reflection showed her shocked. Her eyes widened and her jaw fell open slightly and she took in her image. Alice had done so well I was fairly certain that Bella's soon to come vampiric perfection would have trouble topping how she looked now. I'd always thought she was beautiful, but tonight she was without a doubt exquisite.

_All right leech, you asked me to come for Bella's sake, so here I am._

"Oh!" I couldn't help the momentary shock of hearing Jacob Black's voice in my head. I knew how much this would mean to Bella. Having her best friend here would make this day officially perfect for her. For that, I was thankful to him. I smiled.

"What is it?" she asked.

"A surprise wedding gift."

"Huh?"

Wanting to let Jacob surprise her himself, I said nothing. I took the lead again and danced her towards the cedars at the edge of the dance floor. Once we were into the deep shadows, and away from the human eyes at least, I looked out into the darkness, where I knew Bella couldn't see, where Jacob was hiding from the crowd. She was obviously thoroughly confused.

"Thank you," I said. "This is very…kind of you." I hesitated as I tried to find the right word.

"Kind is my middle name. Can I cut in?"

Bella's hand flew to her throat and her knees almost gave out as she realized he was here in the darkness with us.

"Jacob! Jacob!" she exclaimed. Her joy at his presence made my slight discomfort at leaving her with him more than worth it.

"Hey there, Bells."

Once I led Bella towards him she immediately fell into his embrace. While I knew that she loved me more, I couldn't help the stab of jealousy that seemed to rip through my body. I trusted our love for each other and that was enough to keep myself in check. I decided that Bella needed this moment with him, so I excused myself I graciously as I could.

"Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor," I said. I walked away before either could respond, not that I really thought I would get one.

Making a deliberate effort to keep out of Jacob's mind in order to give them their privacy, I made a bee line for Rosalie. No one I knew had a louder mind than her. If I could focus on hers I could keep all others out. Not that I had any intention of telling her that. I'm not suicidal after all.

"Rosalie, care to dance."

"Where's…." She cut of as she got a whiff of the air she hadn't been paying attention too. "You actually left her alone with it."

"Don't Rose, now is not the time."

"But…"

"No, Jacob is her best friend and since this may be the last time she ever sees him she is entitled to have a few moments to say goodbye."

_That's just stupid_. "That's just stupid."

Well, at least Rosalie was being honest with her opinions.

"Do you want to dance or not."

"Sure."

I attempted to focus on Rosalie's thoughts, but after a few moments I started to get a headache. If we were passing by the glass wall she was admiring herself in the mirrored image. If we weren't she was thinking about how good Emmett looked in his tux and what she wanted to do to him. I started doing math in my head again.

When the song ended, I escorted Rosalie back to Emmett's side and went to talk to Seth.

"So, I notice Jake is here. Nice of him to come," he said.

"He knows that this is a big day for Bella. He may not want to give his support but he still wants her to be happy. His being here completes this for her."

"I guess you're right about that. Where do you suppose he will…"

Seth cut of when we both heard Bella raise her voice.

"Ow, Jake! Let go!"

They were still on the other side of the cedar so I couldn't see them. Quickly I jumped into Jake's mind. All I saw was the red haze of anger and I knew that the change was about to over come him. I ran to the tree with Seth close behind. Jake's hands were locked around Bella's arms and it was obviously hurting her. It took every bit of self control not to kill him right then.

"Jake – stop!" Bella cried.

"Take your hands off of her!" I said. My voice literally dripped venom.

I noticed Seth come up behind him. More quiet snarls came from further back. I let Seth take over talking to Jake up, more than a little concerned of what I might do to the mutt.

"Jake, bro, back away," he said. "You're losing it."

I could hear Jacob's sanity come back into play. _Oh God. I hurt her. Am I really any better than him? But I can't let go, I can't let him take her. He'll destroy her._

"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go." _Please let her go. I don't want to have to fight Edward to save you. Please._

"Now!" I snarled.

Finally Jacob let go and I grabbed Bella and pulled her back. Putting her safely behind me, I faced Jacob. His thoughts echoed in my head. _I'll kill you. I'll kill you._

Seth grabbed a hold of Jacob and stared pulling him back towards the pack. "C'mon Jake. Let's go."

Finally Jacob just said his thoughts aloud. "I'll kill you. I'll you myself! I'll do it now!" _Filthy bloodsucker! You have no right to screw her while she is still human!_

The combination of his words, thoughts, and the choked sobs coming from behind me sent me to the edge. I wanted blood, wolf blood. The only thing that stopped me right then was the fact that Seth was in the way. I didn't want the innocent kid hurt.

"Seth, get out of the way." I meant to say it calmly but it came of as a hiss.

_Edward no! _Seth thought. "Don't do it, Jake," he said. "Walk away. C'mon." _Think about what attacking him will do to Bella. Jeeze, how did I become the werewolf/vampire referee?_

Sam came up in wolf form and between the two of them the pushed Jake away and disappeared. I quickly tuned out Jake's thought's before I really did go after him. Bella needed me now, and she needed me calm.

Just as I was about to turn to her, Quil appeared a few feet away. _We got him you stupid f-ing vampire. I'd stay away for a while if I were you. The treaty may not mention what you're about to do to her, but nobody is happy about it. If it weren't for the treaty everyone except Seth would have let him kill you. So just stay away._

I gave him a nod and he vanished.

"All right," I said to one in particular. I turned to look at Bella and the heart-broken expression on her face was almost enough to make me go after Jacob.

"Let's get back," I said.

"But Jake –"

"Sam has him in hand. He's gone."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was stupid –"

"You did nothing wrong –"

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I…I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

I couldn't believe she was blaming herself for what had happened. When would she figure out that she wasn't responsible for everything that occurred between Jacob and me?

"Don't worry," I said. I gently touched her face in an effort to soothe her. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence."

"Give me two seconds," she pleaded.

I was amazed by how quickly she pulled herself together. It was as if she just shut off the side of herself that felt the pain. I felt that stabbing sensation in my chest as I realized that the reason she did it so quickly was because she had a lot of practice. Practice she got from when I left her. I quickly ignored the feeling. That past catastrophe had little to do with now. I was here, she was here, and this was our wedding day. I would have nothing else mar the perfection of it.

"My dress?" she asked.

"You look fine. Not a hair out of place."

"Okay. Let's go."

As I wheeled Bella back on to the dance floor, I heard Emmett in my mind.

_Everything alright now?_

I nodded subtly. Emmett and Jasper had been nearby the entire time in case things had escalated farther than they had. While none of the humans had any clue as to what had transpired so quickly just a few feet away from them, my family was very well aware.

I looked at Bella. While she seemed perfectly compose I was still concerned about her.

"Are you –"I started to ask.

"I'm fine," she said, cutting me off. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you."

The look on her face told me she wasn't sold on that thought. After a moment she looked at me with an expression that was nothing short of raw determination.

"It's over," she said. "Let's not think of it again tonight."

I couldn't not think of it. After all, I agreed with Jacob. Making love to Bella while she was still human was immensely dangerous. What had I been thinking when I agreed to it? Was I completely stupid? I could so easily loose control and kill her before I even had the chance to make her a vampire.

"Edward?"

I pressed my forehead to hers so she couldn't completely see my face.

"Jacob is right," I said. "What am I thinking?"

"He is not. Jacob is way too prejudice to see anything clearly."

"I should let him kill me for even thinking…"

That got a reaction out of her.

"Stop it," she said. She grabbed my face to make me look at her. I didn't want to. I didn't want to cave to what she wanted and if I looked at her I would. I knew I would regardless, so I did as she wanted. I opened my eyes.

"You and me," she continued. "That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?"

How could I not? How could I deny her anything?

"Yes."

"Forget Jacob came. For me. Promise that you'll let this go."

If that was what she wanted, then that was exactly what I would do. I looked at her for a moment while I forced all thoughts about Jacob Black out of my mind.

"I promise."

"Thank you. Edward, I'm not afraid."

"I am," I whispered. Afraid of hurting you. Afraid of loosing you. Afraid of not being the man you see me to be.

"Don't be. By the way, I love you."

And with those three words she made me forget what it was I was afraid of. "That's why we're here."

I sensed Emmett come up behind me. "You're monopolizing the bride. Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush."

I released Bella to Emmett and went to dance with Alice.

"So is everything alright?" she asked. She was obviously asking about Jacob but as promised to Bella I kept the thought of him out of my mind.

"The only thing wrong here is that I have to practically bend in half to dance with you."

She just stuck her tongue out at me.

The next few hours went by without a hitch and with no more surprise guest. Finally I manage to claim back my bride.

"I could get used to this," she said.

"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"

"Dancing isn't so bad – with you. But I was thinking more of this, of never having to let you go."

As she pressed her soft body against mine, I knew I would never get used to it. It had much too profound an effect on me. But I enjoyed the idea of never having to let her go just as much as she apparently did.

"Never," I said. I leaned down to give her a quick kiss. It wasn't quick. As soon as I touch my lips to hers the kiss grew and the outside world ceased to exist. At least until Alice interrupted.

"Bella! It's time," she called.

I just ignored her, but Alice is Alice and she refused to be ignored.

_Edward! She has to change now or you're going to be late._

I kept on ignoring her, so she tried talking to Bella.

"Do you want to miss your plane? I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."

"Go away, Alice," I said and then went back to kissing Bella and attempting to ignore her.

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?"

Apparently Bella was up for ignoring her too.

_Fine, be that way._ "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will."

Little monster.

I reluctantly pulled away from Bella to glare at Alice. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

Alice gave me the mental equivalent of sticking out her tongue and turned back to Bella. "I didn't pick out the perfect going away dress to have it wasted. Come with me, Bella."

Somehow Bella managed to fight Alice long enough to give me one more quick kiss before she was carted away.

_Well, I guess it will be a good honeymoon_.

"Shut up, Emmett," I whispered.

_I didn't say anything. You're just rummaging around in my head again._

I ignored him as I went into the house to change. Up in my room, I changed into a light grey pullover and jeans. I stood there for a moment looking at the gold band encircling my finger. It felt right there, perfect.

Esme stopped outside my door. _Mind if I come in?_

I was still looking at the ring as I said, "Come on in, Mom."

Esme came in and stepped in front of me. I immediately gave her my full attention.

"I know what Carlisle said to you earlier, and I just wanted you to know that I feel exactly the same way," she paused for a moment as if to gather her thoughts. "Bella is lucky to have you as are all the rest of us. I know as a mother I shouldn't have favorites, even if you're not my real children, but I do. I love you as much as I loved my true son and I know that if he had lived I would have wanted him to be just like you."

If I could have cried, I would have. As it was I couldn't say anything. Instead I just hugged her.

"Now go get your wife," she said. "I'll see you soon."

I just nodded as I walked out of the room to wait for Bella at the bottom of the stairs. She came down just a moment later, looking radiant in her deep blue dress. I would always love that color on her.

As she took my hand she was scanning the crowd. I was about to ask her who she was looking for but she spoke first.

"Dad?"

"Over here," I said. I led her to where Charlie was hiding against the wall in the back. Like Bella, he didn't want to show his emotions and his tears had driven him into semi-seclusion.

"Oh, Dad!"

As soon as Bella hugged him both their tears started again. _I'm not ready for this. I have to let her go though. My little girl. My beautiful little girl. I'll miss you so much._

"There, now," Charlie said after he regained his composure. "You don't want to miss your plane."

"I love you forever, Dad. Don't forget that."

"You, too, Bells. Always have, always will."

For a moment I wanted to tell Charlie everything. It almost felt like it was going to kill me to take her away from him, but I had no choice. I couldn't give Bella up, and Charlie could never know what was coming or his life would be forfeit.

"Call me," he told her.

"Soon."

"Go on then. Don't want to be late."

I pulled Bella to my side as we made our way to my special occasion car. The sleek Aston Martin Vanquish had shoes dangling off the back. I heard Alice's giggle as she saw that I noticed the shoes tied to my precious car. I shot her a look but said nothing about it.

"Are you ready?" I asked.

"I am."

I kissed her on the doorstep to everyone's applause. Then I tried to rush her to the car as fast as possible to avoid the rice storm, but she was only human and Emmett wasn't. He nailed us with a handful that bounced off me and flew everywhere. I heard his muted laughter.

I got Bella into the car and got in to the other side as quickly as I could without giving everyone a heart attack. Emmett took advantage and nailed me with more rice. I gave him a look that promised retribution.

_Bring it, _he thought.

I got in the car and started to drive away, taking a moment to appreciate the performance of my favorite car. As we drove up the drive I took Bella's hand in mine.

"I love you," I said.

She put her head on my arm and stole my line from earlier. "That's why we're here."

I pulled on the dark highway and floor the accelerator. I could barely contain the whoop of joy at the power of the car. At least until I heard the piercing howl of a wolf. The sound was so full of pain I didn't even need to hear the thoughts behind it to know that it was Jacob Black.

Neither of us said anything. We had made a promise.

_**Okay, that took forever, but I think it may have been worth it. I took everyone's advice and tried to add more detail. I hope you all like it and please let me know how it is. I think I didn't better, but hey, I'm biased. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Just for reference, I don't speak a word of Portuguese. So I will be writing my version of what Edward and the locals say or think in English. I will put (P) in front of these parts and (E) and the end so I don't have to have Edward think; now I'm speaking English, now I'm speaking Portuguese, so on and so forth. **_

_**Also, I apologize for this taking so long. I have family visiting this week and I do like to read the other fan fiction on here. So bear with me. Sometimes I will put them out rapidly, other times it may take a while. I'm also planning on taking a short break between each section of the book to write something from my imagination, but I have every intention of finishing Breaking Dawn at some point. I feel that if I try to do it all with no break, I'll get sick of it and not want to finish. Thank for your understanding.**_

Chapter 5

"Houston?" Bella asked.

The look of confusion and frustration on her face was so adorable that it took everything I had no to laugh. I still couldn't help the grin though.

"Just a stop along the way," I told her.

As I expected, Bella fell asleep as soon as we were in the air. I spent the 5 hours flight just taking in the relaxed features of my beautiful wife. She must have really been tired because she didn't speak one word in her sleep. This was confirmed as I practically had to carry through George Bush Intercontinental Airport. I received another baffled look when I checked into our flight that would take us Brazil.

"Rio de Janeiro?" She sounded almost nervous.

"Another stop," was all I told her.

Amazingly Bella still continued to sleep during the entire 10 hours it took us to get from Houston to Rio. As I watched her I found myself imaging how she would look at the small private island we were going to. How the bright tropical sun would bring out the red in her hair and kiss her skin and bring out a golden glow.

Upon our arrival, I led a very bewildered Bella outside to a taxi. I was glad that Bella couldn't speak Portuguese, as I didn't want to ruin the surprise.

(P) "Marina da Gloria, please," I told the driver."(E)

As we rode through the brightly lit city, I glanced over at Bella. For what had to be millionth time I wondered what it was that she was thinking. Her face held a look of trepidation, excitement, and determination all at the same time. I determined she had to be thinking about the other end of our compromise. I myself was feeling the same things that were flashing across her face, though maybe not for all the same reasons. I was obviously excited; I was after all about to make love to my Bella. As far as trepidation went, well that was just obvious. I'd like to see anyone else be a century old virgin and not be nervous as hell. I guess are reasons for determination were different however. Bella was probably determined that I wouldn't find a way to back out, and I was determined that I wouldn't hurt her. That thought also put a big dose of fear into the mix.

When we finally arrive to the marina, I let all the fears and doubts slid away for now. The boat my family owned was sleek, powerful, and best of all extremely fast. I quickly got Bella and the luggage on board and prepared the boat for departure. I wasn't really sure if I was moving too fast to pass as human, but I was much to excite to get the boat out into the open waters. The only things I loved more than things that went fast were Bella and my family. At least I seemed to have those priorities in the right order.

None too quickly, the boat was ready and I headed towards the ocean. I was impatient at first, but as soon as we passed the break wall, I opened it up and in no time we were going top speed. I smiled.

Once I was sure we were safe from hitting anything, I looked beside me at Bella. At first I thought the look on her face meant we were going to fast. Then I realized she was completely stumped. She couldn't figure out where in the world we were going. Just to play with her, I said nothing.

Finally, she caved to her curious and impatient nature.

"Are we going much farther?" she asked.

I grinned in spite of myself. "About another half hour."

About 15 minutes later I could see our destination. The private island paradise that Bella and I would share for as long as she wished. I was eager for her to see it as well, but I knew her weaker eyesight wouldn't be able to yet. After a few more minutes I thought we were close enough for her to see.

"Bella, look there," I told her.

The way she squinted into the darkness showed me that my estimate was off by a bit. Eventually, I saw the realization dawn on her.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"This is Isle Esme."

She had a look of total shock on her face as a pulled the boat up to the small pier.

"Isle _Esme_?"

"A gift from Carlisle – Esme offered to let us borrow it," I explained.

I small sweet smile appeared on her face. She obviously liked the idea that Carlisle had given this retreat to Esme. I always thought it was an extraordinarily romantic gesture. At the time I had wondered what it would be like to have a love a strong as theirs. Now I knew. If Bella wanted all of Australia, I would find a way to give it to her.

I easily heaved the huge suitcases up on to the dock and turned back to Bella. Obviously she thought I was just going to take her hand and help in up to the dock, but I wanted to feel her in my arms. So when she reached over to take my hand, I gave her a smile, scooped her up with one arm and hopped on to the dock.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" she asked.

I guessed that was the tradition, but since when was anything about us traditional? But if she wanted to be carried across every threshold for the rest of eternity, I was more than willing. Instead of offering her that I just flashed the grin she always said dazzled her.

"I'm nothing if not thorough."

In my other hand I picked up the suitcases and made my way to the house at a speed slightly faster than I human would be able to. Then again, I don't think very many humans, if any, could carry a woman in one arm as well as two suitcases in the other.

When I heard Bella heart start to pound, I looked down at her. She refused to meet my gaze and I was about to ask her what she was thinking, but decided against it. She was probably feeling the same thing I was, nervous as all hell. I knew that if someone asked me what I was thinking right now, I wouldn't want to answer. She probably didn't either, so I just left it alone and continued up the sand pathway.

When we made it to the house, I set the cases down to fish the keys out of my pocket. Even I couldn't unlock a door with both arms full. Once I got the door open I stopped and looked down at Bella and waited. Once her large brown eyes met mine I walked in.

I said nothing and neither did she as I turned on all the lights on the way to the master bedroom. Once there, I looked down at Bella. Her gaze quickly swept the room until they settle on the large white bed. Her eyes stayed there.

I set her on her feet and decided she needed a minute to collect herself. Then again, so could I.

"I'll…" I hesitated. I wanted to give us both a moment without seeming obvious about it. My brain seemed to be misfiring all of a sudden as I tried to come up with a logical reason to leave the room. Duh! The luggage, "go get the luggage," I finish lamely.

As soon as I stepped out I used my full speed to take me back out the front door. I leaned back against the wall, pinching the bridge of my nose, and tried to collect myself. This was what Bella wanted. It was what I wanted. I was just so terrified of hurting her in any way. Finally the thought of her waiting for me got me to pick up the cases and head back into the bedroom.

Quietly, I reentered the room and set the suitcases down. Bella obviously didn't hear me. She was over by the bed running her fingers over the sheer netting that went around it. Walking over to her, I found myself transfixed by the beads of sweat on the back of her neck. I swallowed hard as I watched one travel down and disappear down the back of her blue blouse. Mentally shaking myself out of my trance it dawned on me that it was probably very hot and humid for her, but that would be for the best later on. I took those few remained steps between us and put my ice cold hand on her neck to help cool her off.

"It's a little hot in here. I thought that would be best," I said.

"Thorough," she said.

I tried to laugh off the tension that was building in the room, but it sounded off.

"I tried to think of everything that would make this…easier."

Bella swallowed loudly. She needed a bit more time to gather herself. I gave it to her.

"I was wondering, if…" I needed an idea, quick, "first…" I looked at the glass door to the ocean outside. Perfect, "maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me? The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of?"

"Sounds nice."

"I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two…It was a long journey."

She nodded and I brushed my lips against her fragrant throat. Wanting to tease her and help her relax a bit, I said, "Don't take too long, Mrs. Cullen. I'll wait for you in the water."

With out another word I walked outside and stopped at the water's edge. I made a point to tune out all the sounds coming from inside the house in order to give Bella the privacy she needed.

I shed my shirt, shoes, socks, and jeans and set them by the small tree on the beach. For a moment I stood there in my boxers debating with myself. Would it be more comfortable for her if I left them on? Eventually I decided that I would be in the water and she wouldn't be able to see anything below the surface at night. I shed my last remaining garment, left it with the rest, and walked into the water. As I waded further out, I closed my eyes in order to submerge myself in the feel of the warm water as it gently lapped against my cold skin. I guess this was I better idea than I originally thought. Hopefully the warmth of the water would take some of the icy chill out of my skin.

Once I was waist deep in the water I stopped and looked up at the sky. Traditionally speaking, this was my time, the night. And while I didn't want to be what I was I couldn't deny the beauty of the night sky. Nor the way the moon turned the waves around me to the color of dark silver. Where the waves broke around my body the water droplets looked like perfect crystals.

I took in the beauty of the world around me as I waited for Bella. After what seemed like an eternity I finally heard her soft footsteps on the sand behind me. At first I was going to turn around until I heard the sound of a garment landing on the ground. It seemed best to keep my back turned.

I suddenly realized that as beautiful as the night was it had nothing on my angel.

The gently splashing indicated where she was as she made her approach. When she reached me she placed her had lightly on my own.

"Beautiful," she said.

"It's all right," I answered.

I looked down at her. The dark of the night made her hair look almost black, as well as her eyes. The bright moon touched her skin making it appear almost as pale as I was. She reminded me of an ethereal sea nymph, with the way the ends of her hair floated in the water around her. And while the top half of her body was bare to my eyes, I made a point not to stare. Instead, I looked directly into her eyes.

"But I wouldn't use the word beautiful," I continued. "Not with you standing here in comparison."

She smiled slightly and placed her hand on my chest. I shuddered as a wave a pure desire washed through me, followed quickly by the wave of fear I was so used to at this point.

"I promised we would _try_. If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once." A small part of me wished she would panic and change her mind. Most of me wanted nothing more than to take the woman before me into my arms and love her the way no other man in the world could ever love her.

As she leaned into my chest, I found that smaller part of me begin to lose the fight.

"Don't be afraid," she whispered. "We belong together."

When she said, I wrapped my arms around her and let the smaller, fearful part of myself float away with the gentle waves. She was right. We belonged together.

"Forever," I said. And so began our first night of that forever.

*****

As I lied in the dark with Bella sleeping on my chest, I let the feelings envelope me. I felt like I could fly. Making love to Bella had to be the most perfect thing to ever happen in my existence.

I looked down at her sleeping form, at the small smile that graced her lips as she slept. As my mind came back down to earth, I noticed something in her hair. Picking it out, I twirled it in my finger. It was a feather, the kind they put in pillows. I looked around and noticed that the whole bed was full of the fluffy little white things. Frowning, I picked up the pillow that Bella had abandoned in favor of my chest. Actually, I picked up what was left of it. It only took a minute to realize what had caused the destruction of the pillow. I had bitten it.

Fear ripped through me as I wondered what else I may have done. Leaning into Bella I sniffed her. At least I didn't smell any venom in her. Then again, if I had bitten her she wouldn't be sleeping so soundly, that made me relax a bit. Then I noticed something else. Something that caused not fear, but anger.

On her arm and she rib cage, bruises were beginning to form on her pale skin. I knew if there were bruises there, then she had others that I couldn't see from this position. I lied back against the pillow. Pinching my nose and closing my eyes, I tried to keep the dry sobs that came out of me from waking her up. I was a monster. I had hurt my Bella. Why didn't she tell me? How badly was she hurt? Would she hate me when she woke up?

When that last question went through my mind I froze. Would she? I wouldn't blame her if she did. I held her against me and waited for morning to come. I waited for her to face me and realized that I was a mistake.

All too soon the sun rose and I heard Bella's breathing begin to speed up, she was awake. Still, she didn't open her eyes. I ran my fingers along her back to let her know I knew she was awake, that I was ready to face her anger at what I had done to her.

Instead of being angry, she snuggled closer to me. For a moment I couldn't think. How could she not be angry, didn't she really have that much of a lack of self preservation? How typically Bella, she was going to try to let me off of the proverbial hook. I couldn't let her.

Suddenly her stomach growled and she laughed. Laughed!!!

"What's funny?" I asked her.

Her stomach growled again. "You just can't escape being human for very long."

She seemed to be waited for something. I didn't know what. I was waiting for her anger. Unable to look at her, I started up at the canopy above us.

I felt her prop herself up on her elbow to look at me. Here it comes. I braced myself.

"Edward, what is it? What's wrong?"

Huh? Was she delusional now too? No, she was just trying to ignore it. "You have to ask?"

When she said nothing, I looked down at her. She looked confused. I touched her forehead. Once again I was at a loss as to what was going on her mind.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I…?"

I cut her off. "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it?

"Hurt?" Once again she seemed confused. I knew she had to be in pain. Since I first noticed them, the bruises had only gotten darker and more painful looking.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion?" she continued. "I've never been better than I am now."

I decided to ignore that. There was just no way. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward! Don't ever say that."

She was angry now, but not for the right reason. Maybe, she really didn't realize it.

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster."

She looked around and gasped. Reaching up she plucked a feather from her hair.

"Why am I covered in feathers?"

"I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I'm talking about."

"You…bit a pillow? Why?"

Stubborn girl. "Look, Bella!" I held up her bruised arm. "Look at _that_!"

"Oh," she said. Now she gets it. I brace myself. When she said nothing, I took the initiative.

"I'm…so sorry, Bella. I am more sorry than I can tell you." Unable to look at her, I threw my arm over my face. I didn't want to see the hatred and fear that was sure to come over her beautiful face. By my own stupidity I was going to lose my angel.

She pulled on my arm. I didn't move.

"Edward."

She pulled again. She couldn't make me take this while looking at her. I could only deal with so much.

"Edward?"

I stayed the way I was.

"I'm not sorry, Edward. I'm…I can't even tell you. I'm so happy. That doesn't even cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f-"

"Do not say the word fine. If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I am."

"Bella, don't."

"No. You don't, Edward."

Was she really arguing with me about this? I moved my arm. Maybe looking at her would give me some clarification. She was sounding insane.

"Don't ruin this," she said. "I. Am. Happy."

"I've already ruined this."

"Cut it out," she snapped.

I ground my teeth to keep from growling at her. Stubborn girl.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so inconvenient to be a mental mute!"

Shock, yeah, that's shock that I feel.

"That's a new one," I said. "You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today."

"Why?" Maybe the bruises weren't as bad as they seemed. Maybe my fear of hurting was causing me to blow this out of proportion. I wasn't sure yet though.

She threw her arms up. "Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I fell right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now – well, I'm sort of pissed actually."

"You should be angry at me."

"Well, I am. Does that make you fell better?"

"No, I don't think anything could make me feel better now." At least she was starting to feel the right emotion.

"That. That right there is why I'm angry. You are killing my buzz, Edward."

I rolled my eyes. Right emotion, wrong reason.

She seemed to calm down a bit and continued. "We know this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then – well, it was a lot easier that I thought it would be. And this is really nothing. I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice…"

Now it was mine turn to be angry. She was acting completely insane.

"Assumed?" I was practically yelling now. "Did you expect this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones – that equals a victory?"

She just calmly sat through my little outburst. When she answered me in a calmly fashion, I suddenly felt like a five year old throwing I temper tantrum. I was still right though.

"I didn't know what to expect," Bella said. "But I definitely did not expect how…how…just wonderful and perfect it was." She suddenly looked away and seemed nervous. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me."

Oh crap. I didn't expect her to take my anger this way. Now she thought she hadn't been good enough. Suddenly my anger evaporated. She sat there looking so unsure and worried. It broke my heart.

I picked up her chin and looked right into her beautiful eyes. They shimmered with tears that were so close by. I don't even think she realized they were there.

"Is that what you're worried about?" I asked. "That I didn't enjoy myself."

She looked down again. "I know it's not the same. You're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine life gets any better than that."

I waited for her to look back up. I needed her to see how much I meant my next words. Eventually she did.

"It seems I have more to apologize for. I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't…well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were…"

She cut me off. "Really? The best ever?"

I took her face in my hands. I needed her to understand me. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this could be very dangerous for you. He had faith in me, though – faith I didn't deserve.

She started to protest. I didn't let her, so I put my fingers over her mouth and continued.

"I also asked him what I should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me…what with my being a vampire. Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing, like nothing else. He told me physical love was not something I should treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I didn't need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely." I couldn't help but smile at the truth of that statement.

"I spoke to my brothers, too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood. But I've tasted your blood, and there could be no blood more potent than that…I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"I was more," she said. "It was everything."

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

"What does _that_ mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

I knew she didn't make things up, but under these circumstances she had to be. "To ease my guilt. I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of trying to let me off the hook when I make mistakes."

She did what I had just done in order to make sure my point was made. She grabbed my chin and looked my dead in the eye. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you fell better until you started acting all miserable. I've never been so happy in my life – I wasn't this happy when you decided you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were waiting for me…Not when I heard you voice in the ballet studio, or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of it. So just deal with it."

I caved. If it would make her happy, I would cave on anything. I touched her face just because I had to. "I'm making you unhappy know. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't you be unhappy. That's the only thing wrong here."

I took a deep breath. Don't be unhappy. It was that simple yet that impossible. But if that what's Bella wanted then that's what Bella would get. "You're right. The past is the past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now."

She looked at me suspiciously. I force a smile and hoped it looked genuine. I think it did.

"Whatever makes me happy?"

I guess her stomach decided it wanted to be made happy first, because right then it growled rather loudly.

"You're hungry," I said. I got out of the bed quickly. I figured making her breakfast might help distract me from my melancholy thoughts. However, the movement caused a whole cloud of feather to fly around in my wake.

"So, why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" she asked.

After I pulled on a pair of panted and knocked a few feathers out of my own hair, I looked at her and answered. "I don't know if I _decided_ to do anything last night. We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you." I tried to keep my tone light, but the memory of that second where I though I may have bitten her, clouded my attempt. I shook my head to dispel the thought and force a smile on my face.

My forced smile quickly fell as she climbed out of the bed. Her whole body was a network of different colored bruised. I turned away and clenched my first to try to get a handle on myself. It would do no good to start the whole argument over again.

When she groaned I shot to her side to see what was wrong.

"Bella?"

"I'll never get this all out of my hair!"

Under any other circumstance I would have been laughing. She did look like she had been locked in a chicken coop during a tornado. As it was I couldn't even chuckle.

"You would be worried about you hair," I said as I started to help pick the feathers out.

"How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous."

To avoid another argument, I decided it was best not to answer the question. I just kept on plucking. She didn't push for an answer.

After a minute we both seemed to realize that her thick hair wasn't going to give up the feathers without a fight.

"This is going to work," she said. "It's all dried in. I'm going to have to try to wash it out." She wrapped her arms around my waist. I had a bad feeling at where she was going with this. "Do you want to help me?" I was right.

Crazy girl was trying to tempt me even after what I did to her. And damn me if I didn't get out of this room she was going to succeed.

"I'd better find some food for you," I said. I gently pulled out of her embrace and ran from the room at my full speed.

For a few minutes I just stood in the kitchen debating with myself, the two halves of myself warring with each other yet again. The half that wanted to go back and take Bella up on her offer, and the half that needed to stay in the kitchen to protect her. This time the half that wanted to protect her won.

I didn't realize how long I had stood there battling with myself until I heard the shower turn off. Bella needed to eat. I went to the fridge and pulled out the eggs, cheese, and bacon and started to make her breakfast.

As she came into the kitchen, I slid the cheese omelet on to a plate along with the bacon. He stomach growled again.

I smiled at her and placed the food on the table. "Here," I said.

She sat down and started to eat. I sat down in the chair across from her and noticed how fast she was eating. She was practically inhaling it.

"I'm not feeding you often enough," I said.

"I was asleep. This is really good, by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat."

"Food Network," I explained. I started watching it for this exact reason. It was kind of frustrating however, they seemed to like to season things to taste. Not particular helpful to someone without the correct sense of taste. I smiled at her as she continued to shovel the food in.

"Where did the eggs come from?"

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers…" I trailed off, not wanting to upset the semi-happy mood.

"Thank you," she said after she was finished. She had eaten all of it. I had been fairly certain I had made too much. I guess she was just really hungry.

Suddenly, out of the blue, she asked, "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?"

Once again the two halves battled each other. I refused to let the wrong side win. Unable to speak due to my inner battle I just reach out and ran my hand down the soft skin of her cheek. She looked so forlorn as she leaned her face into my hand.

"You know that's not what I meant," she said.

I dropped my hand. I couldn't touch her at all as I told her what she already knew. I couldn't chance giving in. "I know. And you're right." I beat down the wrong half and buried it. "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."

_**Please feed my addiction and review. Your ideas are also always welcome and much appreciated. **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Before I get started, I wanted to thank everyone for the reviews, you guys are awesome. I guess I write better than I thought I did. It's great motivation for me to get them up faster. As a matter of fact, I am eating my breakfast at my desk while working on this (hope I don't cream cheese on my keyboard). Okay, so enough babble from me. Here is the next chapter.**_

Chapter 6

Bella was getting irritated with me. It was obvious. I was trying to distract her by showing all that the island had to offer. In one way, it worked out better than I thought. After a long day of swimming, or hiking, or whatever else I could come up with I would make her dinner. She would eat and then she would crash. Much to my amusement, one night she fell asleep right at the table. I was a bit concerned about how hard I was pushing her because at night she slept almost too soundly. She never moved from the original position she fell asleep in, and even stranger, she never said a word.

On the flip side, she was still stubborn Bella. On the nights she had any amount of energy after dinner she would continue to plead with me. Turning her down time and time again had to be about the hardest thing I'd ever done. Then came the lingerie.

I was going to have to remember to kill Alice for packing those. I knew she had known what was going to happen and decided to side with Bella, little traitor. Each night the garments seemed to contain less and less material. It was torture of the sweetest kind. Each time I pretended not to notice, but oh how I did.

Tonight was another story, there was know way not to notice. This one was black, lacy, and left little to the imagination. If I could have, I may have just had a heart attack. I quickly got myself under control and hoped she hadn't noticed. Stupid hope that was, Bella noticed everything.

"What do you think?" she asked.

You look stunning, sexy, simple irresistible. I couldn't tell her that. I cleared my throat and down played the effect she was having on me. "You look beautiful. You always do." Well that was the truth; technically, she just looked so much more than beautiful.

"Thanks," she said. She was disappointed.

She glumly climbed into bed and I put my arms around her. As she snuggled to my chest, I tried very hard not to notice how all her soft curves pressed against my body in all kinds of delicious ways.

"I'll make you a deal," she said.

I'm not going to give in, I thought to myself. "I will not make any deals with you."

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering."

"It doesn't matter."

"Dang it. And I really wanted…oh well."

I rolled my eyes. Stubborn girl knew me too well. She was well aware that not knowing what she wanted would drive me insane. I had to give her credit, she knew exactly which of my buttons to push.

"All right. What is it you want?"

"Well, I was thinking…I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn't kill me. Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure, it might be embarrassing if I can't keep up with all the brainiacs. Still…eighteen, nineteen. It's really not such a big difference. It's not like I'm going to get crow's feet in the next year."

I had to fight to contain the scream of frustration. What was she up to? "You would wait. You would stay human."

She said nothing. She was trying to kill me, and she just may succeed. I may be immortal but that didn't mean I didn't have hormones. Ones she was driving completely crazy.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I demanded. "Isn't it hard enough with out all of this?" I indicated the lingerie but grabbing a handful of the sheer material in my fist. I guess now she would know it really did have an effect. I dreaded what she might drag out tomorrow night. I would not cave again. I couldn't. "It doesn't matter. I won't make any deals with you."

"I want to go to college."

Stubborn girl. I think that was become my mind's theme song. "No, you don't. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you."

"But I _do_ want to go. Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want – I want to be human a little while longer."

I couldn't argue with that. It still confused the hell out of me that all of a sudden she wanted to stay human. "You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had the argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?"

"Yes, but…well, I have a reason t be human that I didn't have before."

I was going to regret asking this. "What's that?"

"Guess," she said. Then she pressed her self against me and kissed me. Damn, I knew it. I kissed her back, but kept myself in careful control, not an easy task. When I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back any longer, I pulled her away and tucked her back against my chest.

"You are so human, Bella. Ruled by your hormones." Well there's the pot and kettle.

"That's the whole point, Edward. I like this part of being human. I don't want to give it up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood-crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me."

What was I supposed to make of that? When she yawned I decided not to worry about it right now.

"You're tired," I said. "Sleep, love." I started to hum her lullaby to relax her as well as myself.

"I wonder why I'm so tired. That couldn't be part of your scheme or anything."

I chuckled at the truth of that statement. Typical Bella, not much got past her. I started to hum again until her next statement brought me up short.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better."

Know I was confused. "You've been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You haven't said a word in your sleep since we got here. If it weren't for the snoring, I'd worry you were slipping into a coma."

"I haven't been tossing? That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

I quickly went from confused to concerned. "You've been having nightmares?"

"Vivid ones. They make me so tired. I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night."

Neither could I. "What are they about?"

"Different things – but the same, you know, because of the colors."

"Colors?"

"It's all so bright and real. Usually, when I'm dreaming, I know that I am. With these I don't know that I'm asleep. It makes them scarier."

Now I was really worried. Maybe she was sick and I just couldn't tell. "What is frightening you?"

She shuddered. It made me more concerned. "Mostly…" she hesitated.

I couldn't stand not knowing so I prodded her along a bit. "Mostly?"

"The Volturi."

I knew she was sharing all of it, but that was enough. I knew how much the Voltuti frightened her. At least I knew she was sick. I would let her keep the rest to herself. I pulled her tighter to me and tried to comfort her. "They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon, and they'll have no reason."

She still looked a bit lost and frightened. I couldn't let that be. "What can I do to help?"

"They're just dreams, Edward."

Not to me they weren't. They had her frightened and I just couldn't have that. But what could I do? "Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away." I would too. I would sing until my voice died if that was what it took.

"They're not all bad. Some are nice. So…colorful. Underwater, with the fish and coral. It all seems like it's really happening – I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe the island is the problem. It's really bright here."

Finally, something I could fix. "Do you want to go home?"

"No. No, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?"

Again I was right back to feeling helpless. What good was I if I couldn't even keep her nightmares away? However, if she wanted to stay, then that was what we would do. "We can stay as long as you want, Bella."

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before."

I sighed. Stubborn girl. I decided I didn't want to get into this again and I just started humming again. Almost instantly she fell asleep.

For a long time I lay in the dark thinking about things. What was she keeping from me about her dreams? As hard as I thought about it, I couldn't come up with one single theory. And why did she suddenly want to stay human and go to college? If she wanted to wait, then of course we would, but it still confounded me.

I was still deep in thought when Bella suddenly came awake with a gasp. Concerned that she had had another nightmare, I pulled her closer to me.

"Bella? Are you all right, sweetheart?"

"Oh!" Then she started crying.

I was suddenly in a panic as to what I should do. I hated the hopeless feeling I got at her tears. "Bella! What's wrong?" I wiped the tears away in an attempt to comfort her. She just kept crying.

"It was only a dream," she said.

"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." In a panic I started to rock her. I wasn't sure if I was trying to comfort her or myself. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real."

"Not a nightmare. I was a _good_ dream." She was still crying.

Now I was not only in a panic, but also very confused. "Then why are you crying?"

"Because I woke up," she wailed. As she wrapped her arms around me and continued to sob, I relaxed a bit. She was fine. But her logic was kind of comical. A short laugh escaped me before I could stop it. It was a laugh of relief and a bit of humor.

"Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breaths."

"It was so real. I wanted it to be real."

As usual curiosity got the best of me. "Tell me about it. Maybe that will help."

"We were on the beach…"

"And?"

"Oh, Edward…"

Sometimes not being able to read her mind was nothing short of sheer torture. This was one of those times. "Tell me, Bella." How was I supposed to help her if she didn't tell me?

She kissed me so suddenly that it took me by surprise. It took me a moment to compose myself enough to pull away.

"No, Bella."

Just as suddenly as she had kissed me, she started crying again. Only this time it sounded much more heart broken that before.

"I'm s-s-s-orry."

Those words broke my heart. She felt rejected. Why wasn't I couldn't stop hurting her. If touched her, I hurt her physically. If I didn't, I hurt her emotionally. What kind of man was I that no matter what I did I hurt her. I truly felt like the monster that I was. But this wasn't about me. I pulled her to me and tried to convey my feeling to her, but the words just wouldn't come out right.

"I can't, Bella, I can't!" It was the best I could do with all the turbulent emotions running through me.

"Please. Please, Edward?"

The side of me that wanted her regardless suddenly took over. I need to comfort her as much as I needed the comfort that only she could provide. Even as I gave in and kissed her, I prayed that this time I wouldn't hurt her. Once again I tumbled over the abyss and surrendered myself to passion.

Later, when Bella was asleep, I looked up at the ceiling. My body seemed to hum with life, but I was partially terrified. Slowly I looked down at Bella. Relief washed through me instantly. There were still slight bruises on her, but none were new.

I almost felt like shouting. I hadn't hurt her! Maybe I wasn't a monster. I never felt happier than I did at that moment. I could make love to Bella and not leave her damaged. As I looked around the room I realized I couldn't say the same for everything else. At the foot of the bed was what was left of her black lingerie. I guess I had shredded it. I continued my inquiry and found that I had also taken a pretty good sized chunk out of the headboard. Oops.

I could live with that though. Damaged furniture could be replaced and I had the resources to do so. It was a damaged Bella that I couldn't deal with, and this time she was fine. I had been able to control myself. I smiled all through the night as I waited for Bella to wake up.

The sun came up and still Bella slept on. After what seemed like an eternity she finally began to stir. I decided to mess with her a bit. Removing my arms from around her, I put them under my head. I looked up at the ceiling and tried to look upset. I couldn't. I settled for making no expression at all. That was even hard.

In a very nervous fashion, Bella peeked up at me from beneath her lashes. "How much trouble am I in?" she asked.

"Heaps." I tried to keep my face straight. I failed. I couldn't keep the smile of my face any longer.

The relief on her face was instantaneous. "I am sorry," she said. "I didn't mean…Well, I don't know exactly what that _was_ last night."

"You never did tell me what your dream was about."

"I guess I didn't – but I sort of _showed_ you what it was about."

"Oh." I'm sure my face betrayed by shock. It never ceased to amaze me how much she loved me. That she could dream about sex with me after I had caused so much damage to her the first time. "Interesting."

"It was a very good dream," she continued. "Am I forgiven?"

She already was but I figured I'd play along for a little bit longer. "I'm thinking about it."

She went to sit up then, but it didn't work very well. She swayed a bit and fell back down on to her pillow.

"Whoa…head rush."

I wasn't surprised. She had been stationary for quite a while. "You slept for a long time," I explained. "Twelve hours."

"Twelve?" She seemed a bit shocked.

She checked over herself then. I knew she was trying to be subtle about it, but that never was her strong suit.

"Is the inventory complete?" I asked.

She gave me that adorable look she always got when she was slightly embarrassed and nodded. "The pillows all appear to have survived."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your, er, nightgown." I indicated with my chin toward the end of the bed where what was left of the tempting little garment remained.

"That's too bad. I liked that one."

"I did, too." I really had. Maybe I'll get Alice to track down another one just like it.

"Were there any other casualties?" She seemed almost apprehensive.

"I'll have to buy Esme a new bed frame."

Her head cocked to the side as she looked at the gouge I had put into the headboard. "Hmm. You'd think I would have heard that."

"You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved." It was probably the only time she was unobservant.

"I was a bit absorbed."

She then blushed that beautiful pink color I so adored. I touched her cheek and tried to burn the image of the tempting shade into my memory. I didn't really need the help to remember things, but I didn't want to ever forget the way she looked right then. "I'm really going to miss that," I sighed.

She seemed to be trying to read my thoughts the same way I had done many times in an attempt to read hers.

"How are _you_ feeling?" she asked.

I couldn't help but laughed over the question I had asked her so often. Plus, the look on her face was just so darn cute.

"What?" she demanded.

"You look so guilty – like you've committed a crime."

"I feel guilty."

Okay, game over, I couldn't have her feeling anything but happiness. "So you seduced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capital offense."

She blushed even brighter. "The word _seduced_ implies a certain amount of premeditation."

"Maybe that was the wrong word."

"You're not angry."

I smiled at her to help alleviate her fears and doubts. "I'm not angry."

"Why not?"

"Well…I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to channel the excesses." I glanced up at the headboard for clarification. "Maybe I had a better idea of what to expect.

The smile that lit up her face left me breathless. "I told you that it was all about practice."

I rolled my eyes. Silly little minx, she just had to get the last word in. Then again, I guess in this case she was right.

Her stomach growled and I couldn't help but laugh. Got to love how real life likes to interrupt. "Breakfast time for the human?"

"Please," she said. Then she hopped out of bed. Unfortunately she did so too quickly and I barely caught her before she slammer into the dresser.

"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demanding a refund."

I shook my head at her as she made her way into the kitchen. Poor Bella would probably be clumsy even as a vampire. I didn't say that aloud though. It seemed like a good way to get myself into trouble.

I hoisted myself onto the countertop as she fried herself some eggs. I wasn't really paying attention until I noticed she put the eggs on the plate before they were even done cooking.

"Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?"

"Since now."

"Do you know how many eggs you've gone through in the last week?" I hopped off the counter and pulled out the trash can to show her the staggering amount of egg cartons inside.

She looked at the can with such a confused expression it was almost funny. "Weird. This place is really messing with my appetite. But I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, won't we, to make it to Dartmouth on time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too."

Huh? What? She really wanted to wait? I'm confused. Maybe she actually thought I wanted her to go to college in exchange for what happened last night.

I sat down next to her and tried to clarify things. "You can give up the college pretense now – you've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached."

She snorted like that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. "It wasn't a pretense, Edward. I don't spend _my_ free time plotting like some people do. _What can we do to wear Bella out today_?" Her poor impression of me was so cute it was funny. Plus, she had me pegged. "I really do want a little more time being human. I have not had enough."

As she said this she ran her hand over my chest. My breath seemed to hitch instantly. As her hand traveled down to my stomach, I caught it. I wouldn't be able to talk if she kept doing that.

"For _this?_" I asked. "Sex was the key all along? Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments." I was sure I sounded as exasperated as I felt.

She laughed at me. "Yeah, probably."

"You are so human."

"I know."

Just then it occurred to me that I didn't have to damn her to this existence just yet. Not wanted to get my hopes completely up, I asked her, "We're really going to Dartmouth? Really?"

"I'll probably fail out in one semester."

I wanted to jump for joy. She wanted to stay human, even if it was just for a little while longer. I was ecstatic. "I'll tutor you. You're going to love college."

"Do you think we can find in apartment this late?"

Uh oh. I might get in trouble for this one. "Well, we sort of already have a house there. You know, just in case."

"You bought a house?"

"Real estate is a good investment."

Thankfully, she seemed to let my wishful thinking go. But I was glad for it. It had paid off.

"So we're ready, then," she said.

"I'll have to see if we can keep your 'before' car for a little while longer."

"Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks."

I grinned. I should have known she'd figured that one out. Wonder how she did.

"How much longer can we stay?" she asked.

"We're fine on time. A few more weeks if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee…" The possibilities that had seemed so limited before now seemed to spread across the horizon, just like the rising of the dawn.

"A few weeks," she said. "So I was thinking – you know what I was saying about practice before?"

I was just about to take her up on the offer that I knew she was about to present when I heard the noise of a boat just off shore. Damn, guess it would have to wait. "Can you hold on to that thought? I heard a boat. The cleaning crew must be here."

The smile on her face let me know that she knew I wasn't rejecting her. Thank God for that. I really wanted to but wasn't one for an audience and I highly doubted that she was either.

"Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. There's a place in the jungle on the south – " I didn't get to finish that thought.

"I don't want to go out. I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie."

I fought back my laugh. She sounded almost angry, but I really couldn't blame her. I had pushed her pretty hard this week in order to keep her distracted. I almost regretted it. Almost. Just then I heard two people walking up the porch steps. "All right, whatever you'd like. Why don't you pick one out while I get the door?"

"I didn't hear a knock."

It was funny how sometimes she seemed to forget I wasn't human. I cocked my head to the side as if listening for something, but I could already hear exactly where they were. Just when I was expecting it there was a soft knock at the door. I just grinned at her and went down the hall to let them in.

I opened the door and motioned for the older couple to come into the house.

_**(remember: when thoughts and words are being heard in Portuguese a (P) will be at the beginning. When I switch back to English there will be an (E).)**_

(P)"Please come in," I said.

"Good morning," Gustavo said. "Dr. Cullen's youngest so I presume."

"Yes, my name Edward."

"This is my wife, Kaure." He indicated to the small Portuguese woman beside him.

As she was introduced, I noticed her thoughts and it took effort to keep an expressionless face. I didn't want to indicate that I could hear her and further scare her.

_A Libishomen, demon. Why did we have to come here? May God be with us and protect us from this evil entity._

I ignore the woman's thoughts and led them further into the house. As we entered the living room, Bella was standing over by the self of DVD's obviously still trying to make a selection. She turned to us when she heard us come in.

"Gustavo," I said. "This is my bride, Bella. Everything is pretty much the same as usual except there was a slight incident with the pillows in the white room. I'm afraid the feathers made quite the mess."

"Of course, Mr. Cullen," Gustavo said. "It is no problem at all." He smiled in Bella direction. _What a lovely young lady._

_Oh my, _Kaure suddenly thought. _A woman is here. He will be the death of her. Does she not realize that he is unnatural, not human? May whatever higher power she worships have mercy on her soul for consorting with this devil.(E)_

I tuned out her dark thoughts as I led them to the disaster area that was now the white bedroom. After leaving them to their work, I returned to Bella. She was still standing by the movies so I walked up to her and put my arms around her and pulled her to my chest.

"What's with her?" she asked. I had been hoping that she hadn't notice the tiny woman's fearful expression, but I should have known better. Oh well, I shrugged it off, it was just silly superstitions not matter how close to the truth they may be.

"Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitious – or you could call it more aware – than those who live in the modern would. She suspects what I am, or close enough. They have their own legends here. The Libishomen – a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women."

"She looked terrified," Bella remarked.

"She is – but mostly she's worried about you."

"Me?"

"She's afraid of why I have you here, all alone." I decided to change the subject. "Oh well, why don't you choose something for us to watch? That's an acceptably human thing to do."

"Yes, I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human." She surprised me then by wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me practically senseless. I lifted her up off the floor so I could feel her as close to my body as possible for right then. I heard her whisper something about the movie, but I wasn't really paying any attention. I let my lips travel down to her throat, breathing in her intoxicating scent as I went. I was so distracted by her that I didn't even hear Kaure reenter the room. I didn't even notice her until she let out an audible gasp.

(P) _What do I do? Maybe the girl really does not know. Should I warn her? No! He will surly kill all of us if I do. Please forgive me child, there is nothing I can do._

I put Bella down and turned to face her. She looked so absolutely horrified, that it caused Bella to blush and look down at the floor. The Kaure seemed to notice that she was staring.

"I am very sorry for interrupting_,"_ she said. She said it so quietly, I'm not even sure if a human would have heard her clearly.

"I quite all right," I said. "I know you meant nothing by it. We are in the living room after all."(E)

Kaure said nothing more and continued on her way.

"She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?"

I laughed. "Yes."

"Here," Bella's had shot out a grabbed a random movie. "Put this on and we can pretend to watch it."

The movie was an old musical. I think it was one Esme had picked out. "Very honeymoonish," I remarked.

We snuggled on to the couch. Bella watched the movie. I watch Bella.

"Will we move back into the white room now?" she asked.

"I don't know…" I thought about it for a moment. Probably not the best idea. After all, I hadn't damaged any of the furniture in that room yet. "I've already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair – maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday." I knew she still wouldn't be happy about it. That bed was an antique and I was fairly certain I wouldn't be able to find that exact same frame.

Bella flashed me a smile. And she said mine was dazzling. "So there will be more destruction?"

I laughed. She was still worried I would be afraid to touch her again, but that concern was past us now. "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again."

"It would only be a matter of time." She sounded genuinely nonchalant, so when her heart rate picked up, it had me a little concerned.

"Is there something the matter with your heart?"

"Nope. Healthy as a horse." I guess she was just becoming a better actress. "Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?"

"Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. You may not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them." Not that the woman wasn't terrified already, but no need to scare her into an early grave.

She looked at me for a second as if perplexed. I guess she forgot about them. "Right. Drat."

As Bella turned back to watch the movie, I continued to watch her. I was a bit surprised when she started to fall asleep. Maybe I had worn her out more than I thought. I would have to be more careful. I guess now we could keep ourselves perfectly entertained in the house for a few days. Now there was a thought to bring life to any dead heart.

I was interrupted form my speculations when Gustavo and Kaure came back into the room.

(P) "We are all done, Mr. Cullen," Gustavo said. "Is there anything else that you need?"

"No thank you Gustavo. Have a nice day."(E)

Kaure was practically about to leap for the front door. Once I heard the door close I looked down at Bella. She was wide awake now.

"They're finished," I informed her.

"So does that mean that we're alone now?"

Yes, I wanted to say, but I had just told myself that I needed to take better care of her. "How about lunch first?"

I led her into the kitchen. She sat at the table while I went about making her a quick lunch. Once again she ate more than I thought her small body would actually be able to hold.

"This is getting out of hand," she complained.

"Do you want to swim with the dolphins the afternoon – burn off the calories?" I asked. I guess old habits die hard because I already knew her answer before she even said it.

"Maybe later. I had another idea for burning calories."

I played dumb, hoping for that blush I loved so much when I forced her to actually say it out loud.

"Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left – "

The blush didn't come, this time I was the one being impatient. I cut her off by scooping her right up off of the chair and claiming her lips. I ran to the room at full speed because it would never be soon enough when it came to loving Bella.

_**Feed the wildlife. (That would be me.) Feed me reviews please, they are almost as good as chocolate.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Thank you to everyone for the reviews, and here I just thought I was a caffeine and sugar addict. Anyways, after this chapter, I will be taking a short break from Dawn Rising to write something else before I get burned out. I will come back to it, I promise. I have this idea bouncing around in my head and it just won't leave me alone. I'll probably have the first chapter up in a few days. If you want to know what the title will be just ask in the review and as soon as I know, I'll let you know. Well, that's it for my news for today. And away we go…**_

Chapter 7

After Bella had fallen asleep, I started to wonder about her strange eating and sleeping habits. Bella kept brushing it off but something was nagging at me. I just wished I could place it.

Of course that wasn't the only thing nagging me. The fire in my throat definitely didn't want to be ignored any longer. I was hesititant to leave Bella alone on the island but I didn't have much of a choice. Isle Esme didn't exactly have a whole lot of carnivorous animals and Esme wouldn't be too happy if I made a dent in the wildlife in her paradise. I would have to go to the mainland.

I slid out from underneath Bella and carefully lowered her back onto the pillows. I brushed a lock of mahogany hair back from her face just taking in her silent beauty for a moment.

After I threw on a tee-shirt and jeans, I went to the desk in the study across the hall to find a pen and paper. I couldn't very well just leave and not let her know where I was. Since I didn't want to wake her, a note it was. I found a stationary and pen in the top drawer and wrote her a quick letter.

I'm hoping you won't wake up and notice my absence, but, if you should, I'll be back very soon. I've just gone to the mainland to hunt. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake again. I love you.

Just because I had to, I addressed the letter to Mrs. Cullen and placed it on my pillow. Brushing her cheek one more time, I made my way to the dock. I did nothing to prep the boat at human speed. I wanted to get back to my Bella as fast as inhumanly possible. Once underway, I pushed the boat as fast as it could possible go and headed to an area just south of the city. Less than an hour later I had reached my destination. I dropped the anchor, dove into the water, and headed for the shore.

I got to the beach and entered the thick rainforest. I took a deep breath and let my human side fade to the background while the beast in me came to the forefront. It didn't take long until I sensed a panther wandering on the forest floor. She wasn't hunting and was unaware to my presence. I decided not to let her know. I pounced on to her back and snapped her neck before should could even process what was happening. I drained the blood and hid the body in the growth that was all around.

One nice thing about the large cats in South America, they were bigger. It only took the one beast to quench my thirst. By now the sun had risen and I quickly made my way back to the boat.

As I sped back to the island, I couldn't help but hope that she was still asleep. I had a desire to wake her with kisses and make love to her as soon as she woke. The idea of her mass of hair wild about her face, of her eyelids still a bit heavy, and of her voice raspy as she said my name had me pushing the boat to its limits.

Not a moment too soon and I was back to the island. I tied up the boat and ran full speed to the house. As soon as I was to the porch I slowed. Not wanting to wake her too soon, if she wasn't awake already, lest my plan be ruined.

When I entered I noticed that the windows in the living room was open and the TV was on with the menu for the movie when were watching the other day playing. I walked into the room and noticed Bella asleep on the couch. She was sweating and her hair was wet and matted around her face.

Damn it, I had forgotten that she needed me to keep herself cool at night. I silently reprimanded myself. Just another thing to add to the list of things I couldn't get right when it came to taking care of her.

I climbed on to the couch next to her and pulled her body into my cold arms. She woke up with a pained expression on her face. I assumed she was irritated with me for leaving her to sweat all night.

"I'm sorry," I said. She was still sweating so I tried to wipe some off of her face with my hand. "So much for thoroughness. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."

"Excuse me!" Suddenly she was fighting to get away from me. I guess she was madder at me than I thought. I released her instantly.

"Bella?"

She didn't answer me. Instead she shot out of the room like she had a rocket on her back. I had never seen her move that fast. I realized that if she were mad at me she would have let me have it and not run away. Something was wrong with her. I shot after her just as she was entering the bathroom. She dropped in front of the toilet and vomited violently.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked. It was a stupid question but I couldn't seem to stop myself from asking it. Obviously, she was sick. Plus, she couldn't even answer me at that precise moment. I just held on to her and held her hair back. I felt so useless right then. What could I do to make her better?

Finally she stopped. "Damn rancid chicken," she said.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine. It's just food poisoning. You don't need to see this. Go away."

"Not likely, Bella." There was no way I was just going to leave her like this.

"Go away," she said again, but I just ignored her. She kept trying to shove me away but I just remained the immovable stone that I was while she rinsed out her mouth.

Once she was finished, I scooped her up and brought her to the bed before she could protest. I lied down to the bed and waited for her to explain why she thought she had food poisoning. When she didn't offer anything up, I prompted her.

"Food poisoning?"

"Yeah, I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out. But I ate a few bites first."

I suddenly found myself glad that that was one thing I didn't have to worry about for myself. Food poisoning did not look very pleasant. "How do you feel now," I asked.

She seemed to have to think about that for a moment. "Pretty normal. A little hungry, actually."

While I wanted to give her whatever she wanted, it didn't seem like such a good idea for her to eat anything just yet. I got her a glass of water and made her wait to make sure she could keep that much down. After about an hour, when nothing came back up, I relaxed significantly.

Deciding I had made her wait long enough, I set about frying her some eggs. When she was done, I turned on CNN and lounged with her on the couch. Everything seemed perfectly fine until she jumped out of my lap, dashed to the kitchen sink, and was sick again.

I held her hair again and tried to keep my panic from showing too much. In order to keep my panic under control, I said nothing until she was in the bathroom rinsing her mouth out.

"Maybe we should go back to Rio, see a doctor," I suggested.

In typical Bella fashion, she refused. "I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth."

She seemed like she was okay, so when she left the bathroom for the bedroom I let her go by herself. While she was doing that I went back to the kitchen. I dug around the fridge checking the expiration dates on every item. Everything checked out fine. I started to pace the living room while I was waiting for Bella to come back out. After a while, when she still didn't come out, I became a bit concerned and went to look for her.

The bedroom door was still closed, so I knocked. "Are you well? Did you get sick again?"

"Yes and no."

What did that mean? My concern went up another notch. "Bella? Can I please come in?"

"O…kay?"

I opened the door and walked in. She didn't appear to be sick, but she sat on the floor in front of the suitcase with an expression I had yet to ever see on her face. I didn't know what it meant. I sat next to her and checked her temperature with my hand just to be sure. She still seemed fine, but something was obviously wrong.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"How many days has it been since the wedding?"

"Seventeen." What did that have to do with anything? "Bella, what is it?"

She held her hand up to silence me. I could see her mind was trying to figure something out. Since I couldn't read her mind it was driving me insane. I tried to be patient but I couldn't. "Bella! I'm losing my mind over here."

She held up a box of tampon as if that would explain something. It didn't. "What? Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?"

"No," she said. She looked a bit scared. "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late."

I froze. I heard Bella continue to speak but none of it seemed to reach my mind. I tried to make my brain process this information and look at the facts. What Bella thought had to be impossible, it just had to be. I was essentially dead. It was impossible, wasn't it?

I forced myself to look at the facts. Fact one, Bella's period was five days late. Though I had never told her due to the fact it would probably embarrass the hell out of her, but I could smell it when it was her time of the month. It never caused me to thirst for her any more than usually because that particular blood was dead. None the less I could tell. Bella had never been late once since I had known her. However, so much had changed in her life in the past month that the lateness of her cycle could be due to stress.

Fact two, Bella's strange eating habits. Again these could just from all the activities we had been doing. However, we hadn't done anything the last few days and her appetite was still off. It could be that her body just hadn't caught up to it yet. This could also account for fact three, her constant exhaustion.

Fact four, she would get sick suddenly, and then just as suddenly be better. Food poisoning? Perhaps.

However if I took all four facts and put them together, it was just too big of a coincidence for them not to be related, especially when they could all be cause by the same thing. Bella was pregnant. She had to be. As impossible as it sounded it was the only thing that fit.

One problem, she shouldn't be having most of these symptoms yet. Fact one should be the only one relevant at this point. She couldn't be more than two weeks along. But, the child would be half of me, half of a monster. I needed confirmation. What would Carlisle think?

"…and…I swear something moved inside me just now."

Bella voice interrupted my thoughts. Something moved? She was on the phone, with, I could only assume was Carlisle. I reached for the phone.

"Um, I think Edward wants to talk to you." She gave me the phone.

"Is it possible?" I asked.

"It looks to be that way. I never would have thought it could be but there is no other explanation. My guess is no one ever realized it could be done because there has never been a relationship like yours and Bella's before. I'll have to do some research to come up with a solid theory of how this is possible, but for now we just need to except that not only is it possible, but it had happened."

"And Bella?"

"It seems that the child is growing at an increased rate. I feel that it would be most prudent to Bella's safety to terminate the pregnancy. Bella is only mortal and whatever is growing inside her is not. I do not think this will end well if we let the pregnancy run its course. I suggest you get her back here, and get her here fast."

"Yes. Yes, I will."

I hung up the phone and started to dial the airline. I would get us home if I had to grow wing and fly us myself. Bella would be safe again.

"What did Carlisle say?" she asked.

"He thinks you're pregnant."

"Who are you calling now?"

"The airport. We're going home."

While I fought with the airlines to get me and Bella on the next flight to the states, I packed everything at almost vampire speed. Bella stood up against the wall looking like she had no idea what she was supposed to do. She was probably terrified of what was growing inside her. I couldn't blame her.

I handed Bella some clothes and continued to do battle with the pig headed travel agents on the phone. I noticed Bella leave the room. I wanted to go comfort her but I needed to get us on a plane first. Finally after throwing enough money at them to feed a household for a year, I got us a flight.

After I hung up the phone, I leaned against the dresser and pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't believe this was happening. What have I done? Why was it every time I tried to make Bella happy I only ended up hurting her more? What kind of monster was I that the only thing I ever consistently did was hurt the one person I loved most? She had to be so scared.

I left the bedroom and found Bella in the living room holding a bag of pretzels and looking out the window.

"Bella?"

She turned around and her tear streaked face sent my heart right down to my stomach.

"Bella!" I ran across the room and looked into her face, trying desperately to figure out what was wrong. "Are you in pain?"

"No, no…"

She must just be that scared then. I pulled her against me and tried to comfort her. "Don't be afraid. We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine."

"Take care of this? What do you mean?"

I looked her in the eye trying to convey to her a certainty that I didn't entirely feel. "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. Don't be scared. I won't let it hurt you."

She said something, but I missed it. There was a knock at the door. Gustavo! How could I have forgotten? I really needed to get myself together so that I could take care of Bella.

"Damn it," I said. "I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back." I went to the door and opened it. Gustavo wasn't there but Kaure was.

(P) "We are leaving today and so do not require your services," I said. "Could you please inform Gustavo so he can come and close up the house when he is able?"

"Of course, Sir. I do however wish to bring this food to your wife. I spent a long time preparing it and I do not wish it to go to waste." _I must check on the girl. I should not have left her. If he is leaving what does that mean?_

I decided it would be quicker to let her give the food to Bella and appease her curiosity than it would be to stand here and argue with her. "Alright, but please be quick we have a plane to catch."(E)

She nodded her head and followed me into the house. I heard her silently praying from behind me. Bella was in the kitchen but still crying when I came back. I went to her and tried to wipe away her tears. She looked past me and saw Kaure.

"She's insisting on leaving the food she brought – she made us dinner. It's an excuse – she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet." I hadn't killed her. I'd done something as bad if not worse.

(P) "I will just leave the food here on the counter." Her eyes seemed to take in the situation for a moment. _Something is wrong here._ "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Yes," I snapped. "You could leave."

I was a bit shocked at myself for being so rude to the woman but I really wasn't in the mood for her pretenses. As Kaure went to take her leave, Bella spun around and ran to the sink where once again she was sick.

I held her as I tried to figure out what set it off this time. The fish, the odor was strong. I left her at the sink for a moment, put the offensive dish in the fridge, and returned to Bella. It seemed to help because she rinsed out her mouth and stood up. I touched her face to make sure she was okay. I pulled her into my arms.

Suddenly I heard a gasp. I had been so concerned over Bella that I had completely forgotten about Kaure. Bella must have done something that I missed that alerted Kaure to her condition. (P) _Demon spawn._

Unsure of what the woman would do, I put Bella behind me and faced her. Much to my surprise, she started yelling at me.

"What have you done to this child? Do you have any idea how much pain that thing inside her will cause? Does she? Have you even told her what you are? What that abomination inside her is? I thought it was bad when I thought you brought her here to kill her. You evil, despicable…"

"Do you know what is inside her?" I asked her in a calm voice that belayed what I was really feeling.

This seemed to catch the woman off guard. "How is it that you do not know? I have heard tales of your kind impregnating women and then leaving to die when the child is born. You are a blood-drinker, even though your eyes are the wrong color, aren't you?"

I just nodded and Kaure took a step back and crossed herself. Instead of using words I tried to indicate what Bella meant to me by gesturing to Bella and then touching her face in the same loving way that I did so often.

She didn't buy it. "Are you trying to tell me that you love the girl? Your kind are evil. You live off the blood of people. How stupid minded do you believe me to be?"

"I do not think you are stupid, Kaure, far from it. You noticed that my eye color is wrong. That is because I feed on animals, not humans. I love Bella. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her."

She made a motion with her hands that indicated Bella's pregnancy. _This is hurting her._ She took a few steps forward and looked directly at me. I had to give the small woman credit she was extremely brave.

"You are the father of this creature, right?"

"Yes."

"How far along do you figure she is?"

"No more that two weeks."

"You know it grows much faster than a human baby, don't you?"

"I theorized as much." It was my turn to ask a question and I only had one. "What does this mean for my wife? Can she survive it?"

_No._ That one little word caused unimaginable pain to rip through me.

"Is this always the case?"(E)

She didn't even think anything. She made her way over to Bella and placed her small dark hand on top of Bella's pale one. Both of their hands rested on Bella's stomach. She said one word then, and it was one that I knew Bella understood.

"Morte."

With that Kaure turned the door and left. She felt sadness for both of us. The tone of her thoughts reflected that. I stood standing there unable to move. If Carlisle didn't get this thing out Bella would die. Of that I had no doubt. When Bella started to move away from me, I stopped her.

"Where are you going?" I couldn't bear to have her away from me now.

"To brush my teeth again."

"Don't worry about what she said. It's nothing but legends, old lies for the sake of entertainment." I knew that there particular legends were probably true but for Bella's sake I would keep that to myself.

"I didn't understand anything."

Of course she didn't. I really was losing it. She also needed her toothbrush. "I packed your toothbrush. I'll get it for you."

"Are we leaving soon?" she asked.

"As soon as you're done."

While Bella brushed her teeth, I paced the bedroom silently berating myself yet again. When she came back out, I took her toothbrush, repacked it, and gathered up the bags.

"I'll get the bags into the boat."

"Edward…"

I turned back to her. "Yes?"

"Could you…pack some of the food? You know, in case I get hungry again."

"Of course. Don't worry about anything. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours, really. This will all be over soon."

I left the room and stopped in the kitchen to gather some snacks. I shoved them in a backpack that could be carried onto the plane and made my way to the boat.

Bella seemed so nervous back there. Then again, I'm sure anyone would be in her situation. She had a demon growing inside of her that would kill her if we didn't kill it first. Of course she would be nervous about that.

I should have known better. Bella never does what I expect her to do.

_**Okay, so I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and please review. And I swear I will be back to this soon. When I do, I will do all of part two before stopping again. Plus, I really need to get this story in my head written. I swear it is screaming at me. Lol. **_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hello all, I'm baaaaack. I told you I would be. This chapter is a bit short, but I didn't really have much in the book to go off of. This part of Breaking Dawn is written in Jacob's POV and I've found it's going to be a hell of a lot harder to put into Edward's POV than before, but I'll do my best. This chapter has almost nothing form the book; it's only been referred to. So, enjoy.**_

Chapter 8

I really needed to get my head on straight. I hadn't even realized how hard I had slammed the taxi cab door until I noticed the way the frame buckled slightly. But knowing you needed to do something and actually being able to do it were very different concepts. I hope the driver didn't notice. I forced my self to focus on his mind for moment. He hadn't.

As I led Bella through the airport to the check-in counter, my head started to ache from all the innocuous thoughts swirling around me. I couldn't seem to focus enough to tune them out, it had been hard enough to focus on the taxi driver, and the buzz in my head was killing me. Then again, maybe I deserved it for what I had done.

I kept my eyes off Bella as I approached the counter. If I looked at her right now I might break down again and then we would miss our flight. I couldn't let that happen. I needed to get her to Carlisle as soon as possible.

The woman at the counter motioned us forward. I slid my credit card and the passports across the dull gray counter over to her. "Edward and Isabella Cullen, we are headed to Seattle with one lay over in Houston," I said.

The woman typed the information into the computer and then slid passports, card, and tickets back over to me. As she took out luggage, she said, "Enjoy your flight."

Yeah, that was unlikely. "Thank you," I replied.

I led Bella through the airport. Within about an hour, we were in our seats waiting for takeoff.

I finally looked over at Bella then. She had her hand in mine but her gaze was fixed on the window. She was staring at it so intently; you would think that the meaning of life was etched into the glass.

"Love, look at me, please," I begged.

She slowly turned her head to look at me. Her eyes were red and swollen and her beautiful face was paler than usual, even with all the sun she had gotten on the island. Her hair was pulled back into a messy knot at the back of her head. Her expression, however, was almost completely unreadable. It didn't lack emotion, but rather it seemed as if a thousand of them were present.

"Will you tell me what you're thinking," I asked.

She just shook her head and looked back out the window. If it wasn't for the fact that she squeezed my hand tighter, I would have thought that she was completely rejecting me.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my free hand and closed my eyes. I pictured the look she had just given me and tried to make sense of it. Once again not being able to read her mind was slowly driving me insane.

Maybe she was afraid. She had an unknown entity growing inside her. That would terrify anyone, even my brave Bella.

Maybe she was angry. I knew I was. How could I have been so stupid as to not have seen this as a possibility? I put Bella's life in danger again. Only this time it was directly my fault.

I decided that it was probably both. But there had been something else that was confusing me in her expression. It had looked like determination, and that had me stumped.

I puzzled over everything for what seemed like hours on end. Eventually, Bella released my hand and put her head on my lap. She reached around to pull the hair tie form her hair and within seconds she was fast asleep. I watched her closely as I ran my hand through her long mahogany hair working out the tangles gently. When she shivered, I reached up and pushed the call button for the flight attendant.

A tall older woman came through the curtain and headed towards us. She smiled down at the sleeping Bella and then looked up at me.

"Would you like me to get a blanket and pillow for your girlfriend, Sir?"

"My wife," I corrected, "and yes I would. Thank you."

She reached up to the overhead compartment and pulled down a pillow and two blankets. She handed me the pillow, which I slid under Bella's head. I was slightly surprised when she covered Bella up herself. I tuned out the rest of the plane and focused on the flight attendant's thoughts.

_They seem so young to be married, but my do they make a beautiful couple. I can almost literally see the love shining out of his eyes when he looks at her. Just the same way my Patrick still looks at me when he thinks I'm not looking, even after 17 years. I hope they make it. I chose to believe they will. You don't see this kind of love very often._

She finished covering Bella and looked back up at me with a smile on her face. I gave her as much of a return smile as I could muster. I hoped it didn't look like a grimace, but I couldn't be sure.

As she made her way back to the front of the plane, I returned to my musings. I think I really was going to go insane.

We arrived at Sea-Tac airport just before one o'clock the next day. Bella had gone back to sleep after boarding the plane in Houston and continued to sleep until we landed. I guess being pregnant with a monster made one very tired. I mentally kicked myself again.

As we made our way past the security check point, I saw the whole family standing there. Their faces were varying degrees of fear, pity, remorse, and hope.

Bella took her hand from me and rushed forward. I fully expected her to run to Alice or Esme. To say I was shocked when she ran to Rosalie would be an understatement. But the surprises didn't end there.

Rosalie took Bella in her arms and headed for the exit, leaving me behind. I was about to follow and ask for an explanation when Emmett cut me off. I was too distracted to even see it coming, and taking him down in the middle of the airport would cause too much of a scene. I helplessly watch Rose lead Bella out of the airport and into the parking garage.

_I will not let you kill that baby!_ Rosalie's mental voice screamed back at me.

As soon as they were through the doors, I turned my stare to Emmett. He was looking at the floor and mumbled "Sorry, bro."

"What the hell is going on here?" I growled as swiveled around to glare at Alice. If anyone knew what was going on, it was her.

"Bella called Rose from the island," Alice said. She looked like she would cry if she could. "Bella won't let you take the baby and Rosalie seemed like her best choice to help her."

I led the way outside so we could talk more privately. Alice hugged me and then she and Jasper got into Alice's Porsche. The rest of us climbed into Emmett's jeep. Rose and Bella had already left in the Mercedes.

Once we were on our way, I turned to Carlisle with my new plan. "So we gang up on Rose, hold her down, and you do the surgery."

Emmett growled at that idea. _I love you bro, but I will not let you attack Rosie, _he thought.

Carlisle shook his head. "I will not perform any surgery against anyone's will, Edward."

"But she'll die."

"We don't know that, son. But, if she is unwilling to abort this…this…whatever this is, I will not force it upon her. I have my codes and that would go against almost all of them."

"But, it's my Bella!" I practically screamed.

"All the more reason that I won't do that. I love Bella like a daughter and I will not do that to her. If we force her to do this she may never forgive us for it. Think about it, Edward. Think, don't just react."

I dropped my head in my hands. Carlisle was right I knew it, but more than anything, I wanted to keep Bella safe.

The saying goes that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission, but I didn't think that would be the case in this situation.

When we finally made it too the house, I rushed out of the car and into the house. Later Esme would remind me about the concept of doorknobs, as I had I just went right through the door.

Rosalie jumped up and took a protective stance in front of Bella, who was lying on the couch. Emmett dashed around me and took his position at Rose's side.

I raised my hand up to my shoulder height and took a step back, trying to look harmless. "I just want to talk to my wife."

"Let him by Rose, please. I want him to understand why I'm doing this," Bella said.

Rosalie backed down and took a seat on the ottoman by Bella's head, and Emmett went over to the armchair across from them. "You better not try anything," Rose snarled. _I will protect this baby with my life, Edward. Don't you doubt that for a second._

I ignored Rosalie and went to Bella's side. There were tears streaming down her face and she reached her arms out to me.

I heard the rest of the family make their way inside, but I ignored them. I took Bella into my arms and buried my face in her hair. I took a moment to breathe in the scent of freesias, strawberries, and that something else that was uniquely Bella.

"Why are you doing this, love? This thing could kill you. Please, tell me, because I just don't understand."

She pulled away slightly and put her hands on either side of my face. "This thing, Edward, is a baby. It's our baby, half me and half you. I will not kill him, I love him already."

"Bella…"

"Don't," she cut me off. "I don't want to hear it. You need to come to terms with what I said, because in this case I am not budging. You will not win this battle and that is the end of it. I am having this baby and that is that."

"But you could die."

"And you can save me. Edward, I may only be human, but I am strong enough to do this. Don't try to change my mind because it isn't going to happen. The only thing we have to decide right now is what to tell Charlie."

I ran my hands through my hair and turned to Carlisle. "Can you take care of that?" I asked.

_Rare disease?_ He asked mentally.

I nodded.

"Bella," Carlisle started. "I will call your father and tell him you picked up a rare disease in South America and are quarantined."

Bella just nodded at him as new tears started to fall.

Carlisle made his way upstairs to make the necessary phone calls and I stretched out of the couch behind Bella. I pulled her into my arms and started to hum her lullaby. Before too long she was asleep again.

_**I hoped you like it. Sorry for the 'beat myself up' Edward, but that is just the way I see him being at this point. Later on, when things start to get better, so will he. For know he's just going to get worse as Bella's condition get's worse. Anyway, reviews make me happy!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**I am so sorry this took so long. Things have been so hectic around here and anytime I did have time to write Edward just wouldn't cooperate with me. I promise that to make it up to you guys I will have another chapter posted by the end of the week.**_

_**And I want to send a special thanks out to SparklingTwilight for listen to me complain about the very uncooperative Edward, as well as everything else.**_

_**So without further ado, here is Chapter 9 of Dawn Rising.**_

Chapter 9

Over the course of the last week I watched my Bella's condition deteriorate. It seemed that as fast as the thing inside her grew, the more Bella wasted away before my eyes. Her skin seemed far paler than it did before; in fact I think she may even rival me in that department. The bags under her eyes were pretty close to mine as well, seeing as how I hadn't fed in about a week. Her brown hair hung limp and her chocolate brown eyes now seemed flat in their darkness. She barely looked like my Bella anymore, and it was killing me to see.

That wasn't the worst of it however. The worst was that she was so damn thin and weak. I could see almost every bone in her delicate body. That thing wasn't allowing her to eat. Everything she tried to put down came back up again.

I had figured this thing would try to kill her. It was a monster, just like me. But unlike me, it didn't love her; it didn't care about what happened to her as long as it had its life. Each kick it gave bruised Bella flesh and with each wound inflicted, I died a bit more along side her.

It had now been a week since I brought her home. Excuses had been made and know we all just waited to see what would happen. Charlie was sure to inform Billy that Bella's was sick sooner or later. Through him the pack would find out and assume this was what they had been waiting for. That their precious treaty had been breached and they would attack. I almost welcomed it.

As soon as I heard the motorcycle in the distance, I knew who it was. The wait was over and this was not going to be pretty for any of us. Jacob was here.

Maybe the dog had been right all along. Maybe Bella would have been better off with him. I knew this much though; if she had chose him, she wouldn't be in the position she was now. Dying because of a monster I put inside her.

"It's Jacob," I said. I started to rise from my seat at Bella's feet only to have Carlisle push me back down. _We cannot afford a fight with the wolves right now, my son. Think of what that would do to Bella._

"No, Edward. I'll answer the door," he said out loud.

I remained in my seat and watched Carlisle open the door before Jacob even had a chance to knock. "Hello, Jacob. How are you?" He sounded like he was attempting to be cheerful but failed miserably. I almost chuckled at the possibility of even caring how he was.

Bella stirred awake at the sound of someone's arrival. She looked up at me in silent questioning. "It's Jacob, love," I whispered.

It didn't escape my notice how she smiled a bit and pulled herself a bit more upright on the pillows. I ignored the twinge of jealousy and turned my attention back to the door.

"I heard Bella made it back alive," Jacob said with obvious sarcasm. I growled softly. But then again he wasn't too far off the mark, so maybe I shouldn't be too angry with him.

_Oh dear what do I tell him,_ Carlisle thought. He decided to try and avoid it altogether. "Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time. Could we do this later?" Yeah, like that was going to actually work.

Bella looked back up at me. "Just let him in, Edward," she whispered to me.

"I don't think that's the best…"

"Why not?" she cut me off. "Are we keeping secrets from Jacob, too? What's the point?" I hated how weak her voice sounded. The strength her anger usually gave her voice was now gone, but her eyes conveyed the emotion just fine.

She turned to the doorway before I could even protest. "Come in, please, Jacob," she called out.

_Should I try and stop him? _Carlisle questioned. I hesitated before I gave my head a subtle shake. A human would have missed the movement.

_I wonder if Bella is thirsty,_ Jacob thought as he pushed his way past Carlisle. If I wasn't so concerned about Bella, I may have just killed him for that thought. Even if Bella had been changed she would still be Bella. His thoughts just seemed disrespectful in regards to her. I stood up to block Bella just in case he didn't see that she was still human and attacked.

Rosalie wrinkled her nose as Jacob came into the living room. _Good god, I hope we will be able to get the smell out when he leaves._

I watched Jacob take in the vampires in the room briefly. When his gaze settled on me, I tried to convey my hatred, but I was sure my face was the same as it had been since we left the island. I looked in his mind to see. Yep, I still look broken, defeated, and pathetic.

He finally settled on Bella and his thoughts went from relief, to shock, fear, grief, and finally hatred. Hatred of me. Join the f-ing club.

Rosalie's thoughts intruded on my scrutiny of Jacob. _Damn, she's about to be sick again._

As soon as I heard Bella begin to vomit into the basin, I turned to face her. Once again, the food we had tried to feed her was being rejected by her body. My fault, all my fault. I fell to my knees at Bella's side. I let my grief and guilt wash over me and my head collapsed against Bella's knees.

Almost immediately I felt Bella's overheated hand touch my cheek. I knew she was trying to comfort me. While I craved the touch she gave me I knew I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve her. But she just kept trying to give me all they she could, her precious life included.

I heard Rose hiss, I assumed at Jacob, but I didn't care. Let him attack me. I knew that since he now realized that Bella was still human he wouldn't hurt her. She was safe from him at least. I just couldn't bring myself to care about me or anyone else right now.

I felt Bella get up but I still didn't move. As her legs moved away, I just slumped forward on to the cushions. I was still allowing all my pain to take me, I deserved it. Jasper was trying to help me but I wasn't allowing him to. If Bella was in pain then so shall I be.

_Because it was a monster. Just like its father._

_I always knew he would kill her._

Jacob's thoughts finally hit me. For right now I allowed Jasper's help. If Jacob said his thoughts out loud it would upset Bella. That was something I simply could not allow. I jumped to my feet to find Jacob kneeling at Bella's side.

"Outside, Jacob," I snarled.

He rose instantly. "Let's do this."

I sensed Emmett and Jasper come to either side of me, but my focus was all on Jacob. I didn't want to fight him, but if that was what it came to…

"No," Bella suddenly gasped, grabbing onto my arm.

"I just need to talk to him, Bella." I ran my fingers over her face taking in every detail. I may just be planning to talk, but I knew Jacob had other ideas. If he chose to attack me, I knew I simply did not have the will to fight back. I would let him kill me. I couldn't let Bella know this, however.

"Don't strain yourself," I pleaded. "Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes." I hope I wasn't lying to her.

But Bella was, as always, very observant. She knew what kind of mood Jacob was in and her hard gaze locked with Jacob's. "Behave, and then come back."

_Do you want us to come with you?_ Jasper questioned.

I shook my head minutely and headed for the front door. I heard Jacob's footsteps follow me. It wasn't that I trusted him not to attack me from behind, it was just that I really didn't care all that much.

I kept on walking as I spoke. "I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black. You'll have to have a little patience." Not that I'll stop you.

"Patience isn't my specialty." Gee, I hadn't noticed. He was practically vibrating in anticipation of the kill.

I turned to face him in anger, but instead I felt my mask slip. I knew he saw it because he suddenly froze before me.

Instead of the anger I meant to feel, the pain washed over me. Images of all the times Bella had been in pain because of me seemed to flash before my eyes in rapid succession. The ballet studio, the time I was gone, the victims entering Volterra to die, walking away from Jacob, the battle against Victoria, this abomination of a pregnancy, all of it bombarded me at once.

I felt like I was going to scream, but nothing came out. I ran my fingers hard against my face in an attempt to banish the images so that I could think straight. Nothing worked.

Through all of this I heard Jacob drive the nail home. "It's killing her, right? She's dying."

The images stopped as suddenly as they began just leaving the feelings they caused behind. Dying. Bella's dying. My Bella. My fault. "My fault," I whispered. My knees just gave out. I crumpled to the ground and my forehead rested against the gravel of the driveway. "Yes. Yes, it's killing her."

It was the first time I had actually said it out load. While I had always known it, not saying it had given me a hint of denial. Now even that hint was gone.

"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything? He's a doctor, right? Get it out of her."

Did he really think I hadn't already tried that? How stupid could he possible be? I rose up on to my knees and looked up at the idiot dog. "She won't let us."

I listened to him process this knew information. _It was so Bella,_ he thought.

Light bulb, anyone?

No, that wasn't right. He figured it out much quicker than I did. Maybe he was smarter than I had given him credit for. "You know her well. How quickly you see…I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened - that would be natural. I thought she was angry with me for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again. I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was resolving. Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rosalie was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet you understand after one second." I should have known though. Since when does Bella do what I expect? Idiot.

"Just back up a second. She won't let you? Did you ever notice she is exactly as strong as a normal 110lb human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs."

I felt like smacking my forehead in frustration. Wasn't it obvious? "I wanted to…Carlisle would have…"

_What, too noble were they? _Ok, maybe not that obvious.

"No, Not noble. Her bodyguard complicates things."

I heard him question Rosalie's motives, question whether or not she wanted Bella dead. "Maybe," I said. "Rosalie doesn't look at it quite that way."

"So take the blonde out first. Your kind can put her back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella."

Tempting, just not possible. "Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us…and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it…" I trailed off there. I didn't think it needed anymore explanation.

"You should have left Bella with me."

Now who was the mind reader here? "Yes."

I listened to his thoughts for his reaction. He thought it was too late; I had already 'knocked' her up. How I hated that word.

"We didn't know," I explained. "I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able to conceive a child with one of us…?"

Jacob cut me off before I could finish. "When the human should get ripped to shreds in the process?"

I wanted to be angry that he had cut me off, but he was dead on with my line of thought. "Yes. They are out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one survives." It was a disgusting concept, one that I had never understood.

"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are."

That was a low blow, but I can't say that I didn't deserve it. "Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself."

_Wrong_ he thought.

It wasn't worth getting into a debate with him on that topic. It served no purpose so I just let it go, there were more important things to discuss. "Killing me now doesn't save her."

"So what does?"

I braced myself for what I had to ask. "Jacob, you have to do something for me."

"The hell I do, parasite!"

Maybe that was the wrong why to phrase it. I went in the direction I knew he couldn't refuse anymore than I could. "For her?"

"I did everything I could to keep her away form you. Every single thing. It's too late."

"You know her, Jacob. You connect with her on a level that I don't even understand. You are a part of her, and she is a part of you. She won't listen to me, because she thinks I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's strong enough for this…" It killed me to say this, but it was the truth and I needed his help. "She might listen to you."

"Why would she?"

I jumped up to look him in the eye. I guess I surprised him because he wondered whether or not vampire could lose my mind. If the situation wasn't so horrible I would have laughed at that.

"Maybe. I don't know. It feels like it. I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill. She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!" I sure sounded crazy to my ears.

"I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that too?"

Well if he would stop being so damn stubborn I would tell him. "You can offer her what she wants."

_He's not making any sense. Part of the crazy?_

I couldn't believe he wasn't getting this. Apparently, I was going to have to spell it out for him. "I don't care about anything but keeping her alive. If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have a dozen babies. Anything she wants. She can have puppies if that's what it takes."

I paused to listen to see if he got it that time. For a moment it was just a jumbled mess and then it clicked. His mouth fell open in shock. I continued before he could argue with me.

"But not this way!" Not this thing that's sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it hurting her." The pain at what I had done suddenly hit me like a wrecking ball yet again. I sucked in a breath and steadied myself to continue.

"You have to make her see reason, Jacob. She won't listen anymore. Rosalie's always there, feeding her insanity – encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting it. Bella's life means nothing to her."

Jacob's thoughts came fast and furious as my words came together in his mind.

_What was he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With me? What? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldn't mind being shared?_

"Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive," I was pleading now.

"That's the craziest thing you've said yet," he replied.

Maybe I was crazy, but at this point I really didn't care. "She loves you." I hated to admit that, but if it was what it took, than I would bite the proverbial bullet and say it to him.

"Not enough."

I had to convince him. "She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme."

"Don't you know her at all?"

Ha! How right he was, but I couldn't let thoughts like that discourage me. "I know, I know. It's going to take a lot of convincing. That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense."

I tried not to cringe at the flash of fantasies that came through Jacob's mind. Him making love to her. Her loving him. And a healthy pregnant Bella. Even I had to admit that the image of her in that last way was beautiful. It was also something I could never give her. All I could give her was a life sucking abomination, just like me.

Jacob finally came back to the conversation. "Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?"

Did he have to be so stubborn? "At least try."

"Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you just making this up as you go?

"I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition…it changes so fast. The thing is…growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now." And here comes the pain again, I embraced it but didn't let it bring me to the ground again. I still needed to convince Jacob.

"What is it?" he asked. And there was the question of the hour.

"None of us have any idea. But it is stronger than she is. Already." I didn't think it would be long before it caused more damage than just bruises.

Jacob suddenly had an image of the beast ripping its way out of Bella's delicate body. It terrified me, but that was what I needed him to see, to convince him that we had to do whatever it took to get Bella to get it out of her body before it was too late and it killed her.

"Help me stop it. Help me stop this from happening." I was practically begging at this point. If he wanted me to get down on my knees and truly beg, I wouldn't be above doing it.

"How? By offering my stud services? You're really sick. She'll never listen to this."

I didn't have any other options except let her die. "Try. There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?"  
He thought about the pain of rejection. Again.

"A little pain to save her? Is it such a high cost?"

"But it won't work."

I felt like I was going around in circles with this. "Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need." It was wishful thinking. But at this point wishful thinking was all that I had left to go on.

"And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? Just kidding, Bella?"

"If she wants a child, that's what she gets. I won't rescind." I had already taken enough away from her.

I waited quietly as Jacob's resolved wavered. At least until he thought: _I should just kill him now_

"Not now, not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating; I will be begging you to kill me."

"You won't have to wait long."

I smiled as much as I could. "I'm very much counting on that." And I almost hoped he would make it as painful as I deserved. Sick I know, but he should considering what I had done to Bella.

"Then we have a deal," Jacob said.

I nodded and held out my hand. Jacob hesitated and then took my hand and shook it once.

"We have a deal."

_**And remember; reviews are almost like chocolate to me. Please send some my way.**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**This chapter is a bit on the short side. In chapter 10 of BD, Edward is only present for like three pages and I didn't see him doing a whole lot during then. Personally, I kind of like my little interaction in the second half of this. I hope you do too. **_

Chapter 10

My heart felt sick at the deal I had made with Jacob. Half of me wished that Bella would take the offer. The other half wished that she wouldn't. I wasn't really sure with half would make me feel worse.

In the unlikely event that Bella agreed with Jacob, I would have to deal with the fact that she would be making love to him. To say that I didn't like the idea was the greatest of understatements. I couldn't help the images that flooded my mind. The way his hands would run over her pale skin. The soft sounds of pleasure that she'd make sounding in his ears. In this scenario, she would live, and I would metaphorically die each time he touched her.

But if she didn't and insisted on continuing her mission to have this thing, then she would die. With any amount of luck I would be right behind her. Even if Jacob didn't do it for me, I would find away.

Neither option was particularly appealing, but at least in the first case Bella stood a chance to be happy, and more importantly live. Was anything else even a consideration? No.

With a heavy heart and the weight of the world on my shoulders, I led Jacob back up to the house. I needed to get everyone out of the room so that he could speak with her. Either way, it wouldn't be long before I knew what kind of death I was facing, the mental or the physical kind.

I entered the house and all eyes fell on me as I walked to the center of the room. I didn't need to turn around to know that Jacob had hesitated in the doorway.

My family's thoughts bombarded me all at once. They came so fast I had trouble telling whose was whose.

_Oh, thank god._

_Damn, he didn't kill the mutt._

_I wonder what happened out there._

_How the hell did they manage not to kill each other?_

_Edward, I can't believe you! Bella's going to flip!_

_Can I fight him instead?_

I finally spoke to silence there thoughts, or at the very least, slow them down a bit. "We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately." I made sure that my voice showed no emotion. I didn't want to give anything away, especially to Bella.

"Over my pile of ashes," Rosalie hissed. I'd rather not take that approach, but I just might be pissed off enough to if she didn't get out of this room.

I spoke to Bella without actually looking at her, because I knew if I looked at her she would know instantly there was something I wasn't saying. "Bella, Jacob wants to talk to you. Are you afraid to be alone with him?"

Bella hesitated before she spoke. "Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward."

"It might be a trick," Rose said. I guess, in a way, it kind of was.

"I don't see how," Bella replied to her.

I decided that Rose needed a bit of convincing. There was no way for this to work if she was in the room. And to be perfectly honest, I was well beyond fed up with her.

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie. We're the ones she's afraid of."

"No," Bella said. Of course she would argue with me on that. She never was afraid of me when she should be. "No, Edward. I'm not…"

I shook my head to stop her. I didn't want to hear that she wasn't afraid of me. That would lead right into how none of this was my fault. If I heard her say that it wasn't my fault on more time, I was going to end up losing whatever shred of sanity I still had intact. Of course, that was assuming there was any left, a fact I wasn't totally convinced of at this point.

"I didn't mean it that way, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Well, at least I meant the last part of that.

I could feel Bella's heart heavy gaze on me and I decided that it was time to leave them alone.

"Everyone," I said while motioning to the front door. "Please."

Almost everyone headed outside and made their way into the woods out of hearing range. Rosalie was still standing in the room, while I waited by the door for her. _Edward, I don't trust you right now. You have to be up to something._ Her head turned back to Bella, silently pleading to let her stay. Bella wasn't going to let her.

"Rose," she said. "I want you to go."

Rose relented and turned her gaze towards me. If looks could kill, I would be a little pile of ashes right now. _Move it asshole, I'm not leaving until your stubborn butt does._

I headed out the door and into the woods. This was a conversation that I didn't want to hear. I guess Rose decided that I wasn't the threat right now because I heard her mentally shout; _enjoy your run._ I just loved mental sarcasm.

I shot threw the trees like a bullet. There was once a time when running helped to clear my mind, but that time was now gone. Pain and turmoil twisted through my chest like razor wire. It squeezed my heart and scraped along my lungs. It seemed to coil all the way down into my stomach.

I finally stopped a few miles out. For a moment all I could do was stand there with my eyes closed and breathe. Finally, my pain became just too much and I needed to release it.

My fist shot through the large pine next to me. Holding it from the inside, I ripped it up out of the ground and threw it as hard as I could. Several more trees were taken out by the discarded pine with a deafening thunder. When the forest settled once again, I let myself fall to the ground.

I don't know how long I laid there in the underbrush, time seemed to have little meaning right then. I just stared up at the sky and imagined Bella was lying beside me, healthy and whole. I closed my eyes to see my mental angel better.

I didn't come back to myself until I heard tiny feet padding across the forest floor. When I opened my eyes, Alice was standing beside me with her hands on her hips and a very pissed off expression on her face. I tried to see what she was thinking but all I got was a rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in Ancient Greek. I wondered idly what she was hiding.

"Did destroying the foliage make you feel better?"

"No."

What she did next surprise the hell out of me. Tiny little Alice hauled off and kicked me right in the rib cage sending me flying through the air. I crashed into another tree with a resounding crack. I was fairly certain it was the tree that cracked and not me. I hit the ground face first and just stayed there while the tree toppled in the other direction.

"You're right, it doesn't make me feel any better either," she said.

I pulled myself up into a sitting position and leaned back against what was left of the tree. Alice walked up to me and crouched down, tilting her head to the side.

"I cannot believe you made a request like that of Jacob. Are you complete idiot now?"

I looked at her for a moment trying to judge if she was going to use me to make a new clearing in the forest. It didn't seem like it right now so I answered her. "I just wanted her to live."

"And it doesn't matter if you disrespect her in the process?"

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

"I'm talking about this little plan of yours you concocted with Jacob. Just passing Bella off to him like some kind of common slut."

"That's not what I…"

"Just stop right there, Edward! To think that she would go and have sex with some other guy when she's married to you, that's just down right insulting."

I lock eyes with my sister for a moment. She was right, it was insulting. What had I been thinking? A new wave of pain and guilt washed over me, adding to what was already there, and I began to sob. It felt like my body was shaking apart form the pain. I felt Alice wrapped her arms around me and felt her body shake with the tears she couldn't shed along with me.

I clutched on to her like a lifeline. "I'm so scared, Alice. I'm so scared."

"I know," she cried. "I am too."

For a while, Alice and I just sat there on the forest floor with our grief. I lost track of time once again until I felt Alice freeze. I looked up at her and reached for her mind, but saw nothing.

"Alice, what was that?" I asked, a bit panicked.

"Our future; it just disappeared."

_**Reviews make me happy!**_


	11. Chapter 11

_***Hides under desk* Please don't be mad at me. I really didn't mean to take this long. I hope the chapter is good enough to make up for it. Don't hurt me!**_

Chapter 11

It took me less than half of a second to process what Alice had said and to pick myself up off of the ground.

I was a much faster runner than Alice, so I tossed her up on my back and headed for the house. With an uncertain future for all of us, there was no way I was leaving her in the woods by herself. Her extra weight would slow me down, but we would still get there faster than if I tried to keep pace with her.

In less than two minutes we were back to the house. I actually had to remind myself to turn the doorknob instead of crashing through. The last thing we needed if we were attacked was no front door.

Jasper, sensing our emotions, immediately came over and scooped up Alice of my back. Esme and Emmett gathered around them in order to hear what Alice was saying in regards to our current situation.

I walked into the living room to check on Bella and stopped short in the doorway. All the furniture had been pushed to the sides to make room for the small hospital bed that Bella now lay on. Carlisle was injecting an IV into her left hand and Rosalie was standing on her right side with a worried expression on her face.

"What happened," I asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

Rosalie looked up at me and answered. "We were on our way back from the bathroom and she collapsed. I caught her in time, but she hasn't come back around yet."

"Carlisle?" I asked.

"Her body is desperate for the nutrients that the fetus is rejecting. I'm going to try to give them to her intravenously. I don't know if it will work, but I'm running out of options." He finished with the IV and turned to look at me. The expression on his face was one step away from total defeat. _I don't know how much longer she can hold on in this condition. I'm sorry but if this doesn't work there will be nothing left that I can to medically._

I felt the tears that could never be shed build up in my eyes. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I filled them in on Alice's vision or lack there of. Not only was it important information, but I needed to distract myself just a bit.

Carlisle left the room to go speak to Esme. As he passed he squeezed my shoulder in and age old display of comfort and support. _I'm not giving up. I just want you to be prepared. Esme and I are going to hunt. I want to be here if anything else goes wrong._

As he left the room, I made my way towards Bella's sleeping form. Rosalie backed up to the stairs to give me the illusion of privacy. Far enough away to not be hovering but close enough to intervene if the need arose. I chose to pretend she wasn't there.

I brushed the hair back from Bella's face. It was sticking slightly from sweat, so I called to Alice to bring me a cool wash cloth.

Alice brought the cloth in to me in just a few seconds and I gently wiped her face clean. Once that task was done, I leaned my forehead against hers and closed my eyes. "Don't you leave me, Bella," I whispered. "I need you. This family needs you. If you go, I will follow. I see no other options."

I stood up suddenly as I felt a stirring in my mind followed by Seth's familiar voice.

_Edward? Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid._ His voice was immediately followed by Jacob's.

_You sound stupid, too._

_Think he can hear us?_

_I think so. Hey, Edward. If you can hear me – circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem._

_We've got a problem._

"Jasper. Emmett," I called.

Both my brothers were at my side before I even turned around. "Something's going on with the pack. Jacob and Seth are on there way here, and they are shouting out that we have a problem. I think they are coming on friendly terms, but on the chance that they are not I need you two with me."

Jasper nodded and Emmett grinned, typical responses for them.

I looked to the rest of my family as they entered the room. "Alice, take the back door just in case. Rosalie, stay with Bella." Everyone agreed with their assignments and Jasper, Emmett, and I headed out to the porch to wait.

After only a few minutes, Jacob and Seth appeared out of the woods. I waited till they were a few feet away before I spoke.

"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?"

I listened and watched quietly as Jacob replayed bits of conversations and images in his mind in reverse order.

He was running through the forest with Seth and Seth thought, _I don't think I can fight them either. But they won't be any happier with the idea of attacking us than we are with attacking them. That might be enough to stop them right there. Plus, they're only eight of them now; I'll tell you what I know – I know that it's awful quiet. Haven't you noticed; Wait up. My legs aren't as long as yours._

Going back further I could hear the conversation between Sam and Jacob.

_Jacob – you can't turn your back on the tribe._

_Ephraim Black's son was not born to follow Levi Uley's._

_Do you belong to a coven now, Jacob?_

_I don't know, Sam. But I do know this – I will stand between you and the Cullens. I won't just watch while the pack kills innocent…people. The pack is better than that. Lead them in the right direction, Sam._

The last thoughts he went through carried no images, just words that rang with the horror that gripped me.

_Unnatural. Monstrous. Abomination._

_We can't allow it._

_Protecting Bella Swan._

_The safety of our families, of everyone here, is more important than one human._

_We have to kill it before it's too late._

And finally Leah's angry voice: _She's dying anyway. We'll just shorten the process._

Fury boiled in blood. I hissed and leapt off the porch, landing in a crouch, ready for any attack that may come. "They want to kill Bella?" I was sure my voice was nothing even remotely human and right then I didn't care.

Apparently, Emmett and Jasper thought I was talking to them and referring to Jacob and Seth, because in the next second they were right beside me ready to attack. I heard Seth's slight panic, and quickly made to remedy the situation.

"Em, Jazz – not _them_! The others. The pack is coming." They both immediately backed down.

Emmett looked to me. "What's _their_ problem?" he asked.

"The same one as mine, but they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others." Oh, shit! Carlisle and Esme were out hunting. "Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now."

"They aren't far."

_I'm going to go take a look, run the western perimeter, _I heard Seth think. I looked over at the young wolf. I like the kid and the last thing I wanted to see was him get hurt.

"Will you be in danger, Seth?" I asked.

_Don't think so, _they both thought simultaneously. Then Jacob continued, _But maybe I should go. Just in case…_

_They'll be less likely to challenge me. I'm just a kid to them._

_You're just a kid to me, kid. _Me too.

_I'm outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens._

Seth took off then and I sent up a silent prayer to keep the kid safe. I really did like him.

I entered a sort of stare off with Jacob while Emmett was inside relaying information to Carlisle. Jasper was worrying about Seth's safety and I heard Alice come out onto the porch. She looked at Jacob, but thought out to me. _Bella's condition is still the same and Rosalie is with her. Carlisle and Esme are on their way back and the metal sheeting is down on the back window._ I nodded ever so slightly and she made her way to Jasper's side.

I finally broke Jacob and mine's little stare down. "This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude, Jacob. I would never have asked this of you."

_Yeah, you would._

I almost chuckled internally. "I suppose you're right about that."

_Well, this isn't the first time that I didn't do it for you._

Wasn't that the truth? "Right."

_Sorry I didn't do any good today. Told you she wouldn't listen to me._

I cringed at the reminder of what I had asked him to do, as well as my collision with the local vegetation via Alice's foot. "I know. I never really believed she would. But…" I didn't really now were to go from there.

_You had to try, I get it. She any better?_

I thought of Bella lying pale and weak on that hospital bed in the living room, of the IV stuck in her vein. "Worse," was the only word I could get out right then, as pain ripped through me once again.

After a moment of tense silence, Alice spoke up. "Jacob, would you mind switching forms? I want to know what's going on."

I answered for Jacob. "He needs to stay linked to Seth."

"Well, then would you be so kind as to tell me what's happening?" I tried not to be angry at her tone. She was just as scared as I was.

I had to work to keep my emotions from spilling out as I gave her a quick rundown of our current situation. I was focusing so hard on that, that I wasn't completely sure of what all I said to her.

Apparently, I got the point across none the less. Alice let out a hiss that would frighten just about anyone, regardless of her small stature.

Seth came back and began mentally speaking to Jacob.

_Nobody out here. All's quiet on the western front._

_They may go around._

_I'll make a loop._

Emmett came back out side and announced to no one in particular that Carlisle and Esme would be here in no more than twenty minutes.

"We should take up a defensive position," Jasper said. Ever the efficient soldier.

I nodded in agreement. "Let's get inside."

_I'll run the perimeter with Seth. If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl._

"I will."

We back our way into the house, and locked the door. Not that that would stop a wolf, but it might slow them down just a little bit. I pushed Jacob's and Seth's thoughts to the back of my mind. I would notice any warnings, but I just didn't want to listen to their whole conversation. Before too long, they were far enough out that I couldn't hear them.

I moved to Bella's side to wait for whatever would come to pass. Because of the help of the wolves, not that I'm grateful for it, we were flying blind. Our future was now tied with theirs, effectively blocking Alice's visions.

Carlisle and Esme came back soon after, but I didn't leave my vigil at Bella's bedside. Carlisle worked around me to hook up various machines to Bella in order to monitor her. I just watched him with dead eyes.

As Carlisle was finishing up, a sudden howl sounded form somewhere out in the night. I jumped up and ran to the window, reaching out with my mind to try and figure out our exact situation. Emmett and Carlisle ran to the front door while Jasper and Alice headed for the back. Rosalie and Esme took up positions beside Bella.

Finally, I heard Jacob's voice in my head. _False alarm, false alarm. _Relief and a bit of annoyance washed through me. _Sorry. Seth is young. He forgets things. No one's attacking. False alarm. There's nothing out there – you got that?_

I nodded and turned back to the room, facing a lot of confused expressions. As I was about to explain, Bella starting moaning in her sleep. She was obviously in pain, even unconscious, and there was nothing I could do. An involuntary shudder crawled up my spine.

Bella was quiet once again and everyone looked back at me for an explanation to the howl. "It was a false alarm. Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He's very young."

"Nice to have toddles guarding the fort," Emmett grumbled.

Carlisle responded quickly to Emmett's statement. "They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett. And at great personal sacrifice." _He doesn't mean to sound ungrateful._

"Yeah, I know. I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there."

There's Emmett for you, always ready for a little action. "Seth doesn't think Sam will attack now," I said. "Not with us forewarned, and lacking two members of the pack."

"What does Jacob think?" Carlisle asked. _He is the older and more experienced or the two._

"He's not as optimistic."

We all stood around as the severity of the situation weighted on us a bit more. I went over to Bella's side and went to brush a wayward strand of hair back from her face, but before I could Rosalie got a death grip on my wrist.

"Don't touch her! You'll wake her up," she said.

I sighed. Now I couldn't even touch her.

"Rosalie," Carlisle attempted to reason with her, but I knew it was pointless. The girl was pigheaded at best.

"Don't start with me, Carlisle," she practically snarled. "We let you have your way earlier, but that's all we're allowing."

Carlisle gave her a look, but she just glared back. I dropped my shoulders and made my way to Rosalie's now vacant seat. I better look at Bella now before Rose decided I couldn't even do that anymore.

I sat there for a while, when suddenly Bella starting making choking noises. I jumped up as her body jerked and she whimpered. When Rosalie's hand touched her forehead, I saw red. She could touch her, but I couldn't!

For a moment I imagined ripping Rosalie in to pieces. Emmett must have noticed because he was suddenly in my field on vision.

"Not tonight, Edward." At least he seemed to understand why I was so angry. "We've got other things to worry about."

I turned away from him and my eyes collided with Jacob's through the window. After a moment, he dropped from the window and his thoughts floated back to me.

_Worse. Yes, she was worse._

Once again, my knees hit the floor.

_**Can I come out now?**_

_**I to thank everyone for being patient with me. I really do try to get these out in a semi-decent time frame.**_

_**And a special thanks to SparklingTwilight for listening to my bitching and for her help on this chapter. You should all go check out her story Breaking the Silence. It is amazing.**_

_**So, please review – and for those who have read A Past Life's Future, I have a poll on my website for a sequel. It would be awhile coming, but it would pick up with Marcus and Kaila. (For those of you who don't know, I designed Kaila after my baby sister; name, looks, attitude, the works. She just isn't a teleporting vampire.)**_


	12. Don't hurt me!

Okay, so I've deleted chapter 12 like 10 times now. I just can't make it work. Before everyone flips on me, know that I am not giving up on it. I'm going to try a new story that is floating around in my head and driving me insane. Maybe, if I start writing it, I can write the next chapter of Dawn Rising without it coming out like crap (and believe me that's what I've been coming up with).

And I swear I will be back to this!!!! It may be fighting me every step of the way but sooner or later I will finish the book. Just please be patient with me, I'm a very busy woman with a very active imagination. When it comes a'knockin' it won't leave me alone.


	13. Chapter 12

_**I know it's been forever. I'll explain why I've been gone so long at the end of the chapter. In the meantime I hope you enjoy.**_

Chapter 12

The hardwood floor splintered where my knees hit it, but I barely even made note of it. If I hadn't smelt the sawdust and polyurethane, I probably wouldn't have noticed at all. The only thing my mind was concerned about was the fact that my Bella was slipping away from me and all I could do was watch. I was helpless to stop it, to stop her pain. For every increase of heartbeat that signaled her pain, I crumbled a little bit more. The only consolation I had was the deal I had made with Jacob. If and when Bella passed on, I would be right behind her. I just hoped that our destination was the same. It was a risk I was willing to take, however. Living for eternity in this world without her; there was nothing I could think of that would be worse.

The soft scent of lavender met my nose just seconds before Alice's thin arms wrapped around me. I had to contain an insane chuckle. At least she hadn't punted me like a damn football this time. That had actually kind of hurt.

I heard Alice's soft voice enter my mind. _You have to hold yourself together right now, Edward. Bella needs you to be strong. Don't make her do this alone._

I turned my head to look at her. I wasn't really sure what expression my face held. It could have been questioning or desolate, lost or heartbroken. Hell, maybe it was all of the above. Maybe none of them, what did I know anymore.

_Damn it, Edward. Be the man she loves, not the shadow of him._

Something it those words seemed to click within my scrambled brain. Alice was right. I was doing no good wallowing in my own self pity. I might not be able to pull myself together completely, but I could sure as hell fake it for her sake. For her, I would do anything.

I nodded to Alice and she stood up and held an unnecessary hand out to help me up. I reached out and held on to her hand as I pulled myself up off the floor. I obviously didn't actually need help off the floor, but the gesture she offered and I accepted was the whole point.

I looked around the room to realize that only Alice, Rose, and I still remained in the room with Bella. I had been so lost in my own mind that I hadn't even noticed. I listened for a few seconds to place everyone. Jasper and Emmett were sitting at the dining room table doing little more than staring at the wall. Carlisle was upstairs in his office lost in his books, looking for a way to help Bella. Esme was at his side to offer support and to get him whichever volume he needed next. Jacob and Seth were too far out of range to be able to know what they were up to.

I crossed the room to Bella's left side and met Rose's glare across the bed. I felt Alice silently leave the room to leave us to our little stare down. If looks could kill, both of us would be in little bitty burnt pieces by now.

_I won't let you hurt that baby. You should probably just stay away._

"You're not keeping me away from her, Rose."

"I'm not leaving you alone with her."

"Fine, but I'm only agreeing with you because it's what she wants."

_Yeah, sure. _

Rose stomped across the room and I chose to ignore her and instead reached out to touch Bella's forehead. Her fever was up again. Without causing the bed to move, I climbed over the railing and laid myself down at Bella's side. I pulled her into my arms and closed my eyes. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled her strawberry and freesia scent. Now matter how many times I smelled the combination, it always caused a reaction in me.

I listened as Rose sat down in the armchair across the room and turned on the television. The volume was set to a volume that Rose and I could here, but had no chance of disturbing Bella. She flipped through a few channels before settling on some mechanic's show.

I allowed my mind to wander, but still remained aware of any changes in Bella's condition. The hours slipped by and my family moved about and the world outside continued on, but here in this bed, time was suspended. I held onto the semi-peaceful moment for dear life and sanity.

I was jerked out of my semi conscious state a few hours later by the sound of paws beating against the forest floor. The rhythmic pounding was almost soothing in it's familiarity as it was annoying in the arrival in herald. The sound stopped and I felt Jacob shift from wolf form to human. He was intending on coming up to the house to check on Bella's condition. There was no need for me to go out there. One of the others could update him just as well as I could. Maybe better, since the only one who hated him as much as I did was Rose.

I looked over at Carlisle who was checking Bella's monitors. Apparently, there were no changes in her condition since last night.

I heard Bella's breathing increase a bit and her eyelids began to flutter. She was waking up. As she opened her eyes, I brushed her hair back from her face and placed a kiss on her forehead before turning my attention to Carlisle once again.

"Jacob's approaching the house in human form," I said. "Will you go greet him? I don't want to leave Bella right now."

Carlisle nodded. "Of course." He checked a few more things before he turned and headed out of the room. A second later, I heard the front door open and close signaling his departure.

"Is everything alright?" Bella asked in a raspy voice. She looked pale and weak but at least she was still alive and still fighting.

I knew she was referring to Jacob's presence and not her condition. "Everything's fine, love. You just rest."

Bella closed her eyes again, but remained awake. I loosely monitored the conversation out on the porch steps. Nothing struck me as important until Jacob had a stray thought that triggered something in my mind.

_No, it was starving her, too. Probably just looking for something to sink it's teeth into – a throat to suck dry._

I thought about that for a few minutes. While he hadn't realized it, he may have been on to something with that. A plan began to form in my mind along with the slightest flicker of hope. I needed to speak with Carlisle immediately.

I rose from the bed and Bella looked at me questioningly. I immediately answered the unspoken question in her eyes.

"I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment." I didn't want to give her false hope. I wasn't sure if it would work and I needed to run it by Carlisle first and get his opinion. Also, Rose would want to put in her two cents worth as well. "Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?"

Rose's eyebrow shot up. _How the hell do I know you aren't planning something?_ I was, but not in the way she was thinking.

"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked.

"Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second." I turned back to the very stubborn Rosalie. "Please, Rose?"

Rosalie sighed and rolled eyes. _Fine, this better be really important._ She turned to the stairs and called for Esme. "Esme? Can you mind Bella for me?"

I tried to keep my annoyance from showing at Rose's distrust of me.

I headed for the door as Esme came downstairs, Rose followed behind me. When we came out the door, Carlisle and Jacob where looking at me, waiting to hear whatever it was that I was thinking.

"Carlisle," I addressed.

"What is it, Edward?" _He must have thought of something, he looks a bit better, more alive._

I ignored his thoughts and launched into my plan. "Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the…fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."

I heard Jacob trying to figure out what thought I was referring to, so I decided to continue with my explanation. "We haven't actually addressed _that_ angle. We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we need to address the needs of the…fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively."

Carlisle was confused by my line of thought. "I'm not following you, Edward."

"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves – what it's not getting? Jacob did."

Carlisle's, Jacob's, and Rose's mind all clicked in understanding at the same time, but Carlisle was the first to speak up. "Oh, you think it is…thirsty?"

_Why didn't I think of that? _ Rose thought before she spoke up. "Of course. Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea." I had to admit, I was almost surprised that Rosalie was actually agreeing with me for once.

Carlisle's mind immediately went into medical mode. His mind began to process different scenarios almost faster than I could keep up. "Hmm," he said. "I wonder…And then, what would be the best way to administer…"

This was one of the reasons I hadn't said anything to Bella. Rose knew my plan before I could even speak it. "We don't have time to be creative," she said. "I'd say we should just start with the traditional way."

Jacob's eyes got wide. "Wait a minute, just hold on. Are you – are you talking about making Bella drink blood?" He didn't bother trying to hide his disgust.

Rosalie immediately went on the attack. "It was your idea, dog."

I was considering telling her that it wasn't his idea. He just had the thought that led me to the idea. I decided that since her anger was now turned to Jacob, I would just leave it there and give myself a break.

"That's just…" Jacob started. His mind ran through adjectives like machine gun fire. I decided to help him out.

"Monstrous? Repulsive?"

"Pretty much."

"But what if it helps her?" I thought I would have him there, but he kept going with a statement that almost had me knocking him into next month.

"What are you going to do, shove a tube down her throat?"

Somehow I managed to keep my anger in check and answer him in an even, albeit a condescending voice. "I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first."

"If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube," Rosalie said.

Jacob's attention suddenly flickered to Rose. He was questioning her motives and wondered whether or not she was after the baby. I nodded slightly, confirming his suspicions. He caught it and thought that Rose would probably jam the tube down herself. She probably would.

Predictably, Rose got impatient. "Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this. What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?"

Carlisle didn't fail to notice Rose's impatience, and he wasn't all that happy about it. He let out a breath and got up. "We'll ask Bella."

I led the way back into the house ignoring Jacob's thoughts of horror movies as he followed behind us.

"What's going on?" Bella asked as we walked back into the room.

Carlisle took the lead on answering her, trying to give her the plan as gently and least shockingly as possible. "Jacob had an idea that might help you. It won't be…pleasant, but –"

Rosalie chose that moment to annoyingly butt in. "But it will help the baby. We've thought to a better way to feed him. Maybe." Rose seemed pleased with herself while I resisted the urge to hit her with a very hard object. Possibly my fist.

Bella tried to laugh but it came out strange from her dry throat. "Not, pleasant? Gosh, that'll be such a change," she said, indicating the IV in her arm. She really did hate those needles. Typical Bella, always trying to lighten the mood no matter how serious the situation. The now familiar wave of pain washed over me as I thought of losing that.

I walked around Rosalie and took Bella's colder than usual hand in mine. I hated having to ask this of her, but what choice did I have. "Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous. Repulsive."

She tried to keep her fear under wraps and she asked, "How bad?"

I tried to answer, but the words seemed to stick in my throat. Carlisle covered for me. "We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than yours. We think it's thirsty."

Bella blinked as realization dawned on her. "Oh. _Oh."_

"You're condition – both your conditions – are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this. The fastest way to test the theory –"

"I've got to drink it," Bella finished for him. She made her decision with bravery that even surprised me. "I can do that. Practice for the future, right?"

She smiled slightly at me, but I couldn't smile back. Rose's impatient foot tapping had me wanting to cause her bodily harm. Apparently, Jacob's thoughts were on the same track.

"So who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella asked.

We all froze as we tried to figure out a way to tell her she would be drinking human blood, even if it was donated blood.

"What," she asked, confused by our hesitation.

"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella," Carlisle answered.

I finished the explanation when Bella seemed a bit confused. "If the fetus is craving blood, it's not craving animal blood."

"It won't make a difference to you, Bella," Rose inserted. "Don't think about it." She was really out to piss me off today.

Bella's eyes widened in shock. "Who?" she asked while looking at Jacob.

"I'm not here as a donor, Bells," he explained. "'Sides, it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies –"

Rose cut him off again. "We have blood on hand, for you – just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better." I cringed slightly. All Rose gave cared about was that damn thing that was killing my wife. She didn't even consider Bella in the equation.

"Well," Bella said. "I'm starving, so I'll bet he is, too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act."

She was trying to make a joke, but I saw no humor in this. This was what I had been trying to prevent since the beginning. It all boiled down to one thing. I had failed her.

_**So, some of you may know that my husband was in the military. Well, he's all done now and came home a few weeks ago. My time has been otherwise occupied perusing other…activities. I haven't updated any of my stories in weeks. I'll try my best not to take so long in the future. I really am sorry, but can you really blame me? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review.**_


	14. What's what

I know I've pretty much fallen off the grid lately, but I'm here to let you know what's going on.

I've been dealing with a lot of personal problems lately and a lot of my hobbies have fell to the wayside. I even have a folder of all my story subscriptions that is up to about 100 because I haven't been up to reading them. On the bright side things are better and I plan to get back to writing and all that other fun stuff…I've even got myself a plan.

For 'Dawn Rising': Truth is, I love it, but it's a bitch and a half to write. Don't panic, I'm not quitting it, but only expect about one or two chapters a month. Then again that's better than I have been doing, so yay!

For 'Crossing Destinies': There are only a handful of chapters left so I will be finishing it up during the next week or two.

For 'The Forces that Break and Bind': This one has a ways to go and as soon as I get CD out of the way, I will turn my focus to it. Once I get started again, look for a new chapter about once a week, more if I get really going.

I also have this new idea that has been percolating. It will bring back bad-ass Bella, but in a different way. (She's so much more fun for me) I'm thinking of doing it as a Twilight/Dark-Hunter cross-over.

Anyways, sorry I've left you all hanging, but it couldn't be avoided.

-Star


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